Aha (Warning: Another Twilight Post)

I am re-reading the Twilight series, as I’ve mentioned. I’m partway into book two (I’m going slower now, knowing what happens I’m stopping and delving into everything). It reminded me of a comment one of my bestest buds made on my Don’t Judge Me post:

The first one wasn’t so bad. But I couldn’t make it through the second. I just couldn’t listen to another chapter of her life being worthless. :sigh:

I remember this weirding me out a bit, because I really didn’t get the “my life is worthless” vibe in book two. Her whiny-ness in the beginning of book one almost made me give up, but after that? Didn’t notice it so much. I mean, minor things, but in character with being a normal teenager.

So I’m rereading it now.

And I think I see what she was talking about.

(kind-of-spoiler alert, fyi)

See, Bella lapses into really deep depression. For example the wandering through the woods and not finding her way out. The hearing searchers calling for her and not being able to conclude she should respond until they’re gone. And then the months of being so out of it she’s not even noticing the people around her.

I’m guessing that’s what seemed over the top, “Oh come on!“-esque to my friend. Guy leaves, triggers THAT?? Come on. Pull yourself together.

Didn’t phase me at all. In fact, it resonated with me.

Because I have been there.

I have been collapsed, listening to my hubby call my name, knowing I should answer so I don’t worry him, and not able to dredge up enough caring or determination to do so.

I have been lying in bed, noticing as if from a distance that my body is hungry or needs to use the restroom, but not feeling it, not responding, not able to convince myself to get up and take care of the problem.

I have moved through days not noticing what is happening with people around me. Not feeling. Having to fake every bit of conversation, every response, even just staying upright.

I have hated being this way, hated hurting the people around me, hated damaging everything I’ve worked for…and still been unable to pull myself out of it.

And I don’t even have depression “that bad.”

So yes, I have no problem believing that Bella could have such a response. Because I have had such a response. Hell, I have had such a response with no provocation. Granted, mine last less time, but that’s largely due to my incredible support network, and that I’ve been dealing with this for years, plus my personal flavor of depression.

But I can see how if you’ve never experienced it…it could seem over-the-top in the book.



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8 responses to “Aha (Warning: Another Twilight Post)

  1. Hmmm… I think I see kinda what you are saying. But I need to clarify here. It’s not really her response that I was overly bugged by. It did bug me but that isn’t what stopped me from reading it. I haven’t ever really experienced that type of depression and it was weird to read, but actually well written.
    No, what generally gets me about Bella is that she never was really a character to me outside of her need for Edward. Granted, I didn’t really put much effort into reading it, but it seemed that everything she IS depended upon someone else. And that bugs me. Mostly because I do it myself.
    Maybe it gets better later on, maybe she really starts to define herself. But I couldn’t stand it once Edward left her. Her character was slightly 2D before that and once he left her it just drove home the idea (for me) that that was all her character really is.
    That’s when I lost interest. But, like I said, I didn’t really try to read it. And I will try again for you.
    And maybe I can get the image of the actors out of my head (because really they don’t help things at all).

    • Haha, fair enough. I was wondering if/how you’d reply. I was guessing at the words in your mouth :P

      That does make sense to me. You hate 2-D characters a lot more than I do. I was a bit curious, going back, to figure out more about her, and I think it’s there, the love story just overshadows all. And there definitely is a heavy fate-type element in the books, especially with how it works out and observations on that. Like I said in my review, there is a “love at first sight” thing, too, they have fallen HARD for each other FAST. But, again, I can kind of see it..they start out because there are intriguing things, which gives that high-school-crush feel, and as they delve they find more and more. *shrug*

      I really love them :-) And I feel like all of the Cullens are deep characters (to me) and just love the family :-)

      Yeeeeah….actors are maybe not such a help. So glad I read the books first!

    • Also, will it make you happy to know that in books 3 and 4 she majorly defies him? :-) There IS more to her, promise. But even if not…isn’t the awesome love story enough? ;-)

  2. Generally, love story is all I need. I’ve seriously read books where it is nothing more than dude with one major trait meets girl with one major trait and they fall in love. And they are amusing and good books.

    For some reason with this series I just wasn’t as forgiving of it. I think I went in with either high expectations or bias against it (I really don’t remember what stage I was in when I read it). It might also be that I’ve recently been reading a bunch of books where I learn about the characters and then watch them dance about each other for so long that I want to just forcibly smash them into a couple already before I explode.

    Either way, if you say there is character development I will trust you. The vampires did sound really kewl too.

    Oh oh! I know. You read the Dresden Files and I will read Twilight. Say one for one deal. 4 books for you. 4 books for me. If you call it quits early I don’t have to read the next one. :evil grin:
    Win-win for me really. If you like the books… Awesome! If you don’t, I don’t have to read much Twilight. Even if you do then I will still keep my promise and all will be good. :)


    • HAHAHA! Yes!! Deal! It’s probably going to be like a month before I start, though. Maybe a few weeks. I promise it will be the next serious series I read. Finish Twilight + greiving period = time til Dresden. Does that sound good?

      See, and I understand. I was biased against it going in…but I have not read anything that pulled me in in…ages. Not even a re-read. So that made me happy :-)

      • Take your time picking the books up. I’m still plowing my way through my other books and I have to summon up the courage to buy the books in front of everyone else. Wait! I have a Nook! I can buy them from the comfort of my home and no one will have to know. Muahahahahahahahhaahaha.

        I mean… umm… yea…

        Anyways, yea, I understand where you are coming from. Now that I have my top books of awesome it’s hard to read things and not constantly compare how I was soooooo into those books and not really into the new ones. :sigh: At least it makes you happy and what makes you happy makes me happy. So the Twilight books have earned at least a few brownie points. But only a few. ;) :)

  3. Me? I totally fell for the Twilight Series. But Bella always urked me. I can 100% relate to you and your depression. Bella’s? Not as much.

    Thank you for stopping by my blog!

    (And perhaps you can see the humor in this link http://www.ericdsnider.com/snide/my-rejected-twilight-screenplay/ it makes fun of the twilight books but it really is hilarious)

    • Ha, I’m the same, Bella is still a bit annoying to me. I just want to slap her and tell her to get some confidence :-) But that’s OK, the series is still good!

      Also, that link is HI-LARIOUS!

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