Random Thoughts

I have been tired. Too tired to write a full coherent post. So here are some random thoughts.

My boss just told my three-lettered-friend I was leaving at the end of April. Didn’t *quite* mean for him to know yet…I don’t want to deal with him teasing me. Thus far, though, he’s been really nice, he came up to me really concerned and said he hoped it wasn’t because of anything he had done. I assured him it wasn’t. And it’s not. I decided long before this latest bout of going crazy.

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I love going to the dog beach with my friend/client. She still comes to me for training, and then on weekends we often meet up at the off-leash dog park to be dog-crazy together. It’s lots and lots of fun. Toby loves it, too. Watching him chase seagulls is hilarious, since most of them are bigger than him! All they have to do is flutter slowly to the water – he’s leaping over rocks as big as he is, dodging back and forth, and he’s not gonna get wet! It’s also been fun to watch both our dogs improve so much. I can now call Toby’s name from across the beach and he’ll look for me until he finds me, then come sprinting! So handy, since he’s smaller than lots of the driftwood lying around and I can lose him quite easily. And her dog is fetching sticks…this is the same dog who wouldn’t mouth anything before due to lots of punishment in a past home. Toby loves the dog beach and it gets him good and worn out…though he’s not such a fan of the bath that comes afterwords.

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Um…wtcrap??? The former head of our company, who’s now semi-retired, just walked up and said he heard I was going to be on leave starting in May. When did this become common knowledge???? And who knows? Also, crapcrapcrap have to talk to my boss and tell him I’m *not* going on leave. He was gone last week, so I haven’t…not sure how I’m going to explain that. At all. That’s been my most recent major reason to stress, how the heck I explain that without going into details I don’t want to go into. It will make no sense to him that I don’t want to keep my options open here, what with me telling him the only reason I’m leaving is medical (true). The thing is, though, I don’t know that it’s possible to get the medical reigned-in enough that I can successfully work here. And by “successfully” I mean “while staying sane.” But I can’t say that w/o explaining how that is true, and I don’t want to. *sigh*

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After Toby’s bath last night he refused to let me really dry him off, and he has a lot of fur at the moment, so wasn’t drying quickly. I toweled him a bit, and then blow-dried him, but he still came to my lap and curled up into a tight little ball and shivered. Broke my heart. I pulled the blanket out from under him and wrapped it around his body. Then I grabbed my knit hat and put it over the part still exposed (since he was a circle). He re-curled with just his head peeking out. After a few minutes, no more shivering. He sighed, and fell asleep. Best. Feeling. Ever. I love being there for my little man.

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I watched both Twilight movies this weekend. I actually liked the first better than the second.

*pauses to watch jaws hit the ground*

I was actually pretty impressed with both of them. I mean, they do have some HORRIBLE scene-writing, but they also have a lot of amazing scene-writing. I thought they captured the feel, or essence, of the books really well in many places. And they did a great job of making some scenes come alive, as I feel they were intended. It wasn’t always a super literal translation, but I think they got the spirit of it right.

That said, I could ignore all the HORRIBLE scenes in the first (“Say it!” “Vampire…”) and enjoy the others. I wasn’t expecting a good movie, and it exceeded my expectations. In some places it made me laugh out loud just with joy. Like when they’d take a favorite scene and deliver it perfectly. Again, I cannot visualize things, so it was so fun to see some of those!

The second I thought they did an a-maz-ing job at the beginning. The whole bit where she’s depressed? Yeah. Great. Notice her sitting in her truck, her dad is there, she’s smiling at him, he walks away, and her expression just goes flat. It’s so subtle. But soooo good. So..perfect. Any expression is a mask. The difference between that and the smiles for Jacob is great. But then the end..last..oh, 30 minutes, hour, hour and a half, it just lost me. Totally lost me. Departed from the book, literally and in feel, imo. And a bad ending can ruin an entire movie for me.

Then again, I liked the first book better than the second, too. So no real surprise.

This was not that short.

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I have noticed my blog posts are very long. This doesn’t really surprise me. Everything I write is very long. I always had a hard time keeping essays short enough in school.

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The job interview went horrible. The lady was a total b**** and just kept staring at me going, “Why do you want this job???” and asking questions which indicated she had never read my resume. At one point she even said, “Well, math majors often can’t teach math,” and went on, basically implying that she did not believe I had any capability to teach. She asked if I thought I could teach through calculus, and then said, “Through AP? Really?? Really?????” No, lady, I’m lying, glad you caught me. Then she gave me a math test to take. 50 questions in 60 minutes, can only miss 3. Two of them I swear did not have the right answer available (it was MC). I went home and wrote them down and asked friends. They all got the same answers I did. Answers which were not choices. This annoys me to no end.

One friend said, “I learned long ago not to argue with you on anything math.” That made me feel slightly better.

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I get the feeling I’ll get the, “You’re overqualified” a lot at the jobs I’m looking at. I just want a basic, low-stress job. Do you know what would be a dream? Working in a library, shelving, re-organizing shelves, keeping track of books…I do that at home for fun. I can spend hours in bookstores happily. I am anal and love organizing things. Working as a sales clerk in a bookstore would also be nice. Would it challenge my brain that graduated with a 3.87 and two degrees in 4 years? No. That’s kinda what I’m going for. But somehow, I don’t think they’ll see it that way. Especially since engineer + math major != avid reader to most people’s minds… So maybe less, “You’re overqualified” and more “I don’t think you’d be happy here.” I got that a lot last time I was job-searching. People looked at my resume and were like, “You’re too smart for this.” And that’s when I was looking for engineering jobs. *throws up hands*

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OK, we’ll call that good, this post is getting ridiculously long.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Random Thoughts

  1. You don’t HAVE to explain squat to anyone, especially bossman. All he has to know is that it is for medical reasons, and that you prefer to leave on very good terms (which is to say they’ll give you a good reference). Don’t let anyone badger or guilt you into giving more information than they NEED to know.

    I’d have to prove the b**** lady wrong with her test and all!! But I’m just a little snot like that!!

    Bookstore job does sound AWESOME! I like that idea. :)

    Chin up kiddo!!!

    • Yes, I just do respect him, and he’s trying to be so nice and supportive, and I don’t just want to slap him down. It’s not like he’s pressuring me, he’s actually been really good about not, I’M pressuring me. I think it’s going to come down to, “Because I said so,” so we’ll see.

      You have NO IDEA how much I want to. The ONLY thing holding me back is that if I passed (no idea, I might follow up and see) she said she’d pass on the resume/test score to the branch near me (in a very doubtful tone) and so if she’s going to I don’t want to be a little snot ;-) I could miss three, the rest were easy, so unless I made a calculator error (very possible, I was using a dinky one I’m not used to with sticky buttons since mine was at work) I could well have passed anyway…

  2. we used to live in SoCal way back when, and there was a dog beach – I didn’t have a dog at the time, but that never stopped us from camping out for a few hours to watch dogs run for the sheer joy of using their legs to their full extent. I miss that sort of opportunity, especially since I have a large dog now! She has to make do with stroller-paced walks for now, but she’ll be swimming in the pool with us in a few weeks :-)

    I also experienced the ‘you’re overqualified, so we’re not going to consider you’. It SUCKS. Especially since I was in dire need of a job, and was willing to do anything :-( Chin up, Lady! They’re not rejecting YOU, they’re rejecting the false image of you that their own insecurities created when they saw your stellar qualifications :-P

  3. awww i want to see pictures of your puppy :) i also love the feeling of my puppy girl cuddling up after a bath and peeking out her head from the blanket. since she’s a pom she has super long hair and it takes forever to dry!

    your life sounds stressful right now too… kinda like mine. haha. ugh. hope your week gets better!

    and i read the whole blog, even though it was long. :) hehe.

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