Monthly Archives: June 2010

Random is my middle name!

I am addicted to Twilight. It’s a wonderful, wonderful addiction.

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I can tell I’m tired because when I went to start this post I had a million things to say. Then I went to get the clipart. Now they are all gone.

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My roomba is FRIKKIN AWESOME! It is SO SATISFYING to have clean floors! And, as a fringe benefit, the house is way more picked up, because I pick things up before letting the roomba loose. It is worth every penny and then some!

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I am super excited that my favorite student’s dog is coming to stay with me for the weekend. She is a big black dog who is a total love, and my favorite student has done amazing things with her. This dog who didn’t know how to play and was too afraid to put her mouth on anything, who was dog-aggressive, is now a certified therapy dog who loves to do tricks and today played with a variety of dogs at the beach! I’m looking forward to getting some extra puppy love, from a dog who outweighs my Toby 10-1 :P

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My garden is doing AWESOME!!! The tomatoes have almost grown out of their cages! I have 4 baby peppers growing, about an inch in diameter, my corn is about three times as high (and way thicker) than it was when I started, my strawberries are producing flowers like mad (hopefully now that there’s more sun I’ll get some fruit), and my tomatoes are almost outgrowing their cages! This is so satisfying! And you know the best part? I’m having so much fun with it, and the hubby is so wonderful, that we’re going to he’s going to build me another raised bed! There won’t be a lot in it this year, several varieties of vine-y things I want to try, and then next year I’ll plant all my corn, tomatoes, etc. there. Since they’re actually growing I can give them a little more breathing room (I’m used to having half of them die on me, so I plant them a bit close so I don’t end up with gaping holes). So excited! Oh, and guess who tipped me off to raised beds? That’s right. My favorite student. :-D

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My coworker who works for the kitty rescue my store fosters for tried to explain to me the other day why they insist that “bonded” pairs or groups of cats go together. She said that in other rescues, they will break up sibling groups, etc, and the cats left behind cry and cry. I feel like…they get over it. Most cats stay in our store a long time. And it’s because, of the (counting in head) 13 cats in our store which can be adopted (plus 2 in foster care), 3 can go alone (and one of those 3 is 14 years old). The other 10 (plus 2 in foster care) have to go in groups, or my favorite can go to a home with another cat already there. Even the kittens. The little, tiny, resiliant, learning about the world and facing overwhelming things all the time kittens. It is crazy. They will adapt. Their “if there’s any chance they’re bonded we make them go together so we don’t possibly cause pain for them” philosophy is crazy in my opinion. They could save a lot more cats, and get them into good homes, if they’d be a little more lenient and give the cats time to adjust. True bonding? OK, maybe. Cutting more slack to someone willing to take a group? Great. But making people fill out an application, do a phone interview, submit to a home visit, and take 2-3 cats is just a bit nutso. And then people wonder why no one gets pets from rescues!

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Toby is adorable and cuddly. Puppies make life worth living. :-D

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Agility!

My sweet, wonderful hubby came to agility with me tonight! I know, I’m a lucky girl! Not all hubbies would go sit in the cold to support their wifey :-)

While there, he took some awesome video and pictures. Like this one:

Running a hoopers course. Yes, I should be on the inside of the circle. I was picking my battle and focusing on keeping his drive up.

Learning to tug, our biggest downfall

Back on course

Jump through the hoop!

See how he’s lagging behind me in that last one? That’s our biggest problem – lack of drive/improper positioning. The dog should be running slightly in front of me, but Toby is not really drive-y at agility yet, so he tries to heel or stay slightly behind. My biggest goal is to get him running farther in front.

Not that we’re all bad! See how focused he is in all the photos? No running off and getting distracted. Our second run was perfect! He ran the whole time (he has never run in class before tonight) and we didn’t miss a step, met every requirement of the course.

We were running practice hoopers courses tonight. In our course there were four blue non-test hoops down the middle of the course, and three tests made up of red hoops. We ran at novice level, so you entered the course and ran through 3 non-test hoops, then picked one of the three tests (sets of hoops you had to take in a certain order forwards or backwards) to run. You then went through two non-test hoops, and ran another test. Then you ran to the finish (blue) hoop. This was interesting because, within those limits, we picked our routes. I’m proud of the route I picked, it worked well for me and Toby. It involved some kind-of-front crosses (where the dog changes from running on your left to your right or visa-versa by you crossing in front of them) where was needed, I never tripped over Toby, and he could read my body language perfectly. Very encouraging! Really made me think about how all the elements we’re learning can go together. An important skill, since this is a kind of trial!

Want to see us run? Do ya? Do ya? Here you go! This is run three, after the perfect one. Toby was starting to get tired, it’s a fairly long run for a small dog with very little rest in-between, and running and thinking concurrently (following all my subtle body cues requires a lot of focus from him) is tiring!

Look at us go! The people you hear in the background are my instructor and his wife. Did you see Toby running? Did you see how as soon as Toby started to get behind me he’d slow down/stop running? I have got to keep him pushed forward.

Did you notice how I stepped into Toby at the end and caused him to miss the finish hoop?

Did you notice how whenever “Toby” made a mistake I stayed happy and kept running and playing, and still treated and petted him at the end? How I never once yelled at or punished him? That’s because the mistakes aren’t his fault. They’re mine. Toby knows how to do everything I was asking of him. He knows how to run fast, how to turn, how to go through hoops. I’m the one responsible for telling him when and where I want all of those components!

Now, here’s our fourth run:

Did you notice how we got better?! True, he was overall slower – on the second test he trotted instead of walked some, but he was tired. This was only about a minute, maybe two, after the third run. But, while I still let him get behind me and stop at that one point, he got going again faster. And at the end I consciously ran a straight line, and he took the exit hoop like a pro!

Look at us go! We’ll be national champions in no time :-)

Also, it made my day that my instructor and his wife (and the other students) were commenting on how cute Toby is when he runs…because this is the first time they have seen him run! This was history in the making , people :-D

I love agility!

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Incredible

This story is incredible. Here is the background for it.

When we did hear her diagnosis “severe to profound hearing impairment” when she was 14 months old, we mourned. We cried. We felt silly. We couldn’t believe it. We thought there was a mistake. We hoped it would go away. We felt all of that and more at once! Finally we looked at Leah and she was still her happy beautiful self. And we recognized that for Leah nothing had changed. Nothing was wrong. It was just the way it had always been. She had always been deaf. She just smiled at us and she looked like she was wondering why we were so sad. So we made a choice. We chose Leah’s perspective. The perspective that nothing was wrong.

One day, I hope to be half the mom that this woman was and is.

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Exciting happenings!

Two very exciting things happened to me today! Or, well, I made them happen to me! Go me!

First, I canceled my visit with that therapist. She just gave me a bad vibe. I felt judged while I was talking to her, and I couldn’t shake the feeling icky. Remember how I freaked out after setting up the appointment? So I called three others, all of whom I felt way more comfortable talking to, and scheduled an appointment with one of them. Woo-hoo! When I hung up from scheduling that appointment I felt excited and am looking forward to it! Sounds more promising to me!

Second, after months of drooling, I bought myself the object of my dreams. Oh yes I did! Say hello to my new boyfriend!

Roomba 530

Oh yes I did! It should be here in a few short days! I would like to thank NewEgg.com for having it at a good deal, too!

So! Excited!

Wow, I really am an adult, if I’m getting this excited about a cleaning gadget :-P But more of this kind of an adult…

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I have more excitement to come! In a few short hours I go to Reading with Rover to do my first dogless volunteer hour! My dog and I need to take the therapy dog test soon, and then hopefully we’ll be volunteers there with my favorite student!

This is a great day. I am so excited :-D

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What the aych-ee-double-hocky-stick??

It’s time for my favorite meme-button!

The retail store I work in is also a foster home for kitties from a rescue. I have never been a cat person, but one kitty there has absolutely captured my heart! He is such a sweetie, and we love each other to death. He follows me around the store, and is just so full of life. I was almost ready to beg my hubby to let me bring him home. Then the girl who works in our store for the rescue put up his info sheet (he’s been at the store about a year now). Evidently he has to go home with another kitty. Because, by now, he likes other kitties. So his home has to have two. What the hell? He is fine. He likes people! He wants a home. Rather than living in the room upstairs in the store all alone most of the time, because the cat he lives with doesn’t get along with another kitty in the store and they can’t be out together, he could go live with a family who loved him and gave him regular attention, who he loved. But no. They won’t consider me, because, while I have a small dog he gets along with and could play with, and I’m home most of the day, I don’t have another kitty and I’m not willing to adopt two (remember, not a cat person). What. The. Hell. This organization does this aaaaall the time. They’re OBSESSIVE about kitties going together. Things like how 3 one-year-old cats came in. They’d lived together a year. So now they’re “bonded.” And someone has to adopt all three (physically identical) cats at once. Who wants three cats? Especially three cats that need frequent (expensive) teeth cleaning? Not many people. This drives me nuts. It means that kitties almost never move through our store. They come in, the organization puts ridiculous restrictions on how they have to go in groups, and no one ever takes them. *sigh*

Monday I got guts and called therapists. Tuesday I worked all day and missed all their calls back. Today one called me back. And I talked with her. And I agreed to an appointment. What the hell was I thinking? Minor freak out happening. First visit with a therapist in a week. Hope we get along and this isn’t another what the hell post for next Wednesday!

Now, click on the button go see the sisters and play along!

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Randoooh, look! Shiny!

It’s time to get your random on!

AT&T sucks balls. Jebus. Rather than come out with the HTC Desire (basically the HTC Incredible that I have and love) they came out with a far inferior version called the HTC Aria. I firmly believe that they don’t want to come out with anything that could be competitive with the iPhone, because they’re in the lap of Apple and if they offered the iPhone competition and sales dropped, Apple would become grumpy and drop the exclusivity with AT&T. And since the only way AT&T is staying afloat is being the only people with the iPhone, they can’t do that. However, sucks for me and my hubby. Either I go to a lousier phone, or he does (at least to his mind, which is valid), or we pay more. *sigh*

I hate AT&T.

But I love my Incredible!

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Toby did AWESOME at agility last night! I finally figured out the reason he won’t play with any toys there – we’ve taught him not to! Well wow, that sure makes sense. *facepalm* See, he is o.b.s.e.s.s.e.d with balls (my hubby likes to say it’s only fair, since we took his away…). And he loves his toys. But they’re small and get lost easily, or they’re soft and get dirty easily. So before we let him go outside to go potty or chase birds, we make him drop his toys. Finally I realized, he learned from this that the toys are not for outside! I grabbed his one outside toy and took it with us, he tugged like mad and RAN through the mini-course for the first time ever!! Yes! Here’s to figuring it out!

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It feels like all of my friends are pregnant or have had kids. Well, all my married friends. Esp. the ones from college I’m still in contact with. One of my best buds has an almost one-year-old. Another college friend has two. My cousin has 3, with #4 on the way. Another college friend is adopting. Another is due very soon. Another just announced they’re pregnant. What married friends do I have left….none I can think of…I mean, one I met post-college, but none of the older friends. It’s odd. Especially since baby fever is in the air. And I have caught it. Hard. This is not helping, people!

I’m going to visit my best bud and her kiddo soon, though. That should put some sense back in me. What with the whole me-not-liking-infants thing :-)

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I love cuddles from my puppy. His favorite bed is my foot rest. Then I get lovely foot cuddles. Life is good :-D

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You know what’s awesome about your birthday? Free burger from Red Robin and free ice cream from Baskin Robbins and Cold Stone!

My diet’s going great, why do you ask?

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I love my Wii Fit. I love playing a game and then going…ow…I’m sore…sweet!

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Jon Stewart does a mean GWB impression.

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I am sleepy. And thus random.

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Y’all should go support my bestest bud, Erica. She got some shitty news today. We all need extra hugs sometimes…

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Jon Stewart also does a pretty damn good Obama impression. Stupid Obama giving him a reason to use it! Hypocritical dumb-dumb. Oh, I get it, evidently Obama is Frodo! He just needs to take the presidency and throw it in the fire!  Unfortunately, he’s being stalked by a twisted creature trying to take back the precious…no, no, not Gollum…yeah, Palin, that’s it. ;-)

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Jon Stewart, thank you for roasting everyone. This is why I love you :-D

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No, I’m certainly not watching TV while I blog! I always give you lovely readers my full attention. Or, well, the full amount that isn’t taken up by TV.

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My garden is doing so well! The corn is growing and growing, I’m shocked at how thick it is already! It’s also taller, but I notice the thickness more. The tomatoes are just getting flowers. The peppers have little peppers that are growing bigger. The strawberries…well…they keep producing fruit which is all soft by the time it turns red. That’s weirding me out, not sure what’s going on there. Oh well. 3/4 is pretty good!

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OK, my random is growing too random, so it’s time for me to stop. ‘night all!!

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Sharing the love

My friend Erica just got some really shitty news. It’s nothing like cancer (she dealt with that a few months ago!). Basically, her thesis adviser for her masters degree, who has screwed her over at every possible turn, just screwed her over MAJORLY. It’s kind of amazing, how very much he could be a total jerkwad.

So go give her a hug.

A virtual hug.

Share the love!

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Who cares if blood is thicker than water?

I think I have said it before on this blog, but I was just reminded again last night: I DO NOT understand the obsession with family that oh-so-many people have.

Who cares if we share blood?

Who cares if the people who gave birth to us had the same person who gave birth to them at some level up?

Quite frankly, who cares if we’re related?

We may be related, but

I may have never met you.

We may have nothing in common.

We may disagree on fundamental points in life.

We may have personalities that clash.

I may not feel comfortable with you.

I may just plain ol’ not like you.

And why is the fact that we are related expected to outweigh all of that?

Maybe being related is a little plus in terms of whether we’ll be close or not. But it certainly doesn’t overcome all else. It isn’t the end-all-be-all in defining the relationship. Or it shouldn’t be!

I understand that family can be a great resource for many people. That they grew up around family, and they all share a common background and heritage.

But for me, that’s not the case.

I can count on one hand the number of times I met ANYONE from my dad’s side of the family. Now he wants me to take a vacation to go down and meet his parents. Because they’re his parents. And they’re family, so I should. They are strangers to me. Why do I care?

I used to see my mom’s sisters and parents about once a year. Now I rarely see them. We really fundamentally disagree on a lot. Like religion. And morality. Things important to me. And our personalities just don’t match. I feel no obligation to see them often. Once in a long while can be nice. We saw some of that extended family from that side around New Years for the first time since we moved here (we’d been here for a year and a half at that point). That was nice. Maybe next year we can do it again.

My husband’s mom family is just…different. The few I’ve met are very conservative (religiously). At least, who I can think of. I haven’t met many, and one family I have are very nice. A bit boisterous for me to want to spend large amounts of time with them, but again, nice for occasional meetings.

In general, my husband’s dad’s family is creepy. Creepy. They freak me out a bit. Not all of them. He has one aunt and uncle who live up here who are really nice. But other than that, I either don’t know them, or find them unsettling (or don’t remember meeting them).

(Please keep in mind those are all generalizations. Not everyone is like that. And I don’t remember meeting the majority of either family.)

Last night I was “invited” to go to dinner and dessert with said aunt and uncle…and their aunt and uncle, who I’ve never met. Or, OK, I guess I “met” them at my wedding, but lets be real, there were 200 people at my wedding, I don’t remember the endless (creepy) relatives and other strangers I met. Plus I kind of had a lot going on that day. Expecting me to remember you from that is a bit self-centered to my mind. Anyway. These people weren’t creepy. But we did not mesh. Right at the start of the evening they overheard that my dad was from Iran, and I said I was sad that I didn’t know anything about the language and culture because my dad is a real far-right-Republican-you-come-to-this-country-you-speak-the-language-and-live-the-culture-and-pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps etc. etc. so he never taught us any of it..even when we would ask. And her response? “Good for him!” Um..what? This is a part of my heritage. A part I know nothing about. And some I’d love to know more about. But at this point in my life, I am not learning Farsai. I just don’t have the time or resources. I could put in the effort to learn more about the culture and such, but the fairly effortless time in my life to pick it up and make it a part of me is gone, and that does make me sad. I was just taken aback by her statement. How is that a good thing? And then they talked with us and it just wasn’t comfortable. Part of it is that I am not comfortable with old people. It’s kind of funny…I make friends with people my mom’s age really well. And I love my mom. A lot. But older people? I do not. I do not like being around them. I am not good with them. On the one hand, it’s kind of sad, on the other hand some people aren’t good with kids. Some aren’t good with animals. Etc. Everyone has groups they do better with than others. I love kids and animals. I don’t do well with the elderly. I recognize that, and it’s just a part of me.

Anyway.

Thank god I had to stay late at work last night. We had a training session. So I didn’t get to their house until late.

Then again, I get there, and everyone starts majorly pressuring me to eat dessert, especially since they made it just for me without chocolate. (I don’t like chocolate. I do not mind when dessert is chocolate. I am used to it. I don’t need more dessert.) It was a blackberry cobbler. Very sweet of them..except I don’t like blackberries, either. I didn’t see a way out of it (giant anxiety had hit by this point and the pressure was overwhelming me), and they served me a big ol’ piece (despite me asking for a tiny one). I ended up making the hubby eat some, but luckily from my young days as an extremely picky eater I have the skill of choking down anything without gagging or making faces :-P

So I’m there with elderly strangers I’d never met (to my memory), and some nice in-laws who I haven’t seen in two years, and my hubby who’d been gone, all instantly pressuring me to do things I did not want to do.

Insert extreme social anxiety.

I started using avoidance behaviors as soon as I walked in the door…not sitting down..taking it slow. (Yes, avoidance behaviors is a dog training term. Dogs do things like turning away or sniffing the ground to show they’re not a threat and try to stay calm in stressful situations. The term works for people, too) I didn’t think about it at the time, but looking back that’s what I was doing. The old people were pressuring me to go sit down with them. Uncle-in-law was getting me dessert. Dog was saying hi (thank god they had a dog!). I stopped and pet the dog. I smiled at the old people, and stepped into the kitchen to talk to UIL a bit. Waited for Aunt-in-law to come back from checking on the kids. Said hi to her. By this point I was a little calmer than I was at the initial greeting and pressure (to accept dessert and sit down instantly) and I could go sit.

Then I clamped down on all emotion and sat quietly smiling. While the old people kept talking in manners I wasn’t comfortable with about things I disagreed with, making broad assumptions about how they knew everything. You know what I mean? Where there’s no way you can say anything, because you’re wrong, because they already know everything.

Holy shit was that night uncomfortable. My stress level was through the roof.

And I came home and couldn’t. Come. Down.

Did I also mention my hubby was gone all weekend, and this was the first time I saw him coming back? I have a hard time adjusting to him coming and going anyway..and then he comes back in such an extremely stressful situation for me.

I left the house and went straight to my car. I cranked up my Glee Madonna CD and tried to feel the positive power from it. I tried to relax enough to unclamp my vocal chords and sing along. That usually makes me feel better.

I got home. I went inside and said hi to my ecstatic puppy. He jumped all over me and kissed me non-stop and we played fetch.

I went to the Wii Fit and did yoga. Starting with deep breathing. Have I mentioned I love my Wii Fit? That helped center me.

Then my hubby played for awhile…and my stress level climbed back up. I had nothing to do while watching him. He wasn’t good at some of what he was trying (keep in mind it was practically brand new to him) and I was stressed for him (productive). I wasn’t doing anything to re-center anymore, and without the guidance the stress just crept back.

He went to bed. I stayed up and watched lame TV. I was so tired. But I could not un-wire enough to go to bed. Have you ever been exhausted, but so tense you can’t even imagine sleeping? Feeling every single muscle, because they’re all pulled as tight as can be? Feeling your heart racing? Your mind whirring? Yourself panting? That was me.

Finally at about 12:30 AM I went to bed. Because it was ridiculously late. And I couldn’t stay up anymore. Mentally, I knew that. So I went to bed.

And laid there. Wide awake. Feeling my entire body being overly tense from stress. And my mind running over and over through things I didn’t want to be thinking about. Trying to pull me into depression, too.

I tried deep breathing.

I tried cuddling my puppy (who was very good and right there for me).

I tried everything I could think of.

2:30 AM, still wide awake.

I have sleeping pills for this reason…somewhere. I need to ask my hubby where. ‘Cause I have no idea. And I would have loved to take one and just gone to sleep.

Anyway, finally fell asleep, sometime early this morning. And slept until about 8 AM. At which point I drifted in and out of sleep for several more hours.

Just a reminder, I need about 10 hours of sleep a night. I try to get 8-10 just so I’m not constantly exhausted. I should get 10-12 to be really awake. Yes, medical doctors have told me this. Yes, it is ridiculous.

So I woke up exhausted. And still stressed from last night. I can still feel the tension in my whole body. I can feel depression trying to pull me down. On the one hand I want to go walk and enjoy the sun. On the other hand, I’m scared to leave my house. I’m barely holding it together. The thought of possibly running into someone and having to exchange social pleasantries is slightly overwhelming.

This is crazy.

From one and a half hours hanging out with “family.”

This is something I would never have done with just random people. I knew it would not go well. (But I really didn’t think it would be anywhere near this bad.) Hell, I rarely hang out with friends. It’s draining for me, even when I like the people. But because it was “family,” there’s some obligation to spend time together. Because…I have no idea why. I don’t get it. Honestly.

Family is often people who you have a common heritage or background with. You may then have much in common, as you’ve helped to form each other. Great.

I love my mom. I do. I would love to have her living up the street from me, where I could visit her often. Not only did she raise me, we have very similar personalities, and she balances me out well.

I get along well with my brother. I’d love to have him in town. He and his new wife are a lot of fun to hang out with. A lot. I enjoy him. And probably more than I would if he were a stranger, because we did grow up together. But still, I enjoy him. If I didn’t, I’d have not desire to spend time with him.

My dad and I are very different. I enjoy spending time with him occasionally. A few times a year. Largely because he enjoys it so much. He’s one who, if we weren’t related, we wouldn’t hang out together. We’re different people. But he did support and raise me, and we do have some common activities we enjoy getting together and doing, so we do.

See, these are people I know. That I lived with. So even if our personalities don’t match up exactly, we at least have something we share. Our relationship is based on that. And I don’t expect them to be the people I’m closest to. That we’re related is a bump in our relationship, but there has to be something else there to make it a relationship. Blood isn’t enough. But there is enough there to have a relationship.

But extended family? Who cares?!? They’re strangers! Why am I expected to feel some kind of tie to them, just because we’re related? Why am I expected to feel close to them? Or, why would I be expected to have my immediate family be my besties? As I know at least one person does expect. Because that one person has said it to me. Repeatedly. And you see such things epitomized in movies all the time, about how crazy family is, but you’re still always there for each other. Or other such crap.

I don’t get it.

And I hate it.

I hate the expectation. The obligation.

And that it means nights like last night.

That I am still recovering from.

Gee, I know: Why don’t I just decide to be happy now? (/sarcasm)

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I’m home on a Friday!

Why hello loyal bloggy readers! I’m finally home again on a Friday! It’s been awhile, the last two I was travelling, so I need to get back on the meme wagon.

First, lets talk about the one I don’t want to talk about:

OK, here we go:

Starting weight: 139.5 lb

Last week: 140.0 lb

This morning: 140.0 lb

Change from last week: 0 lb

Change from start: we’re not going there!

*sigh* I’ve been in the 139 area all week, but this morning, of course, the scale would not cooperate! It doesn’t help that yesterday was my birthday! so I totally overate at the amazing dinner that my hubby took me out to…and then the free caramel Sundae…and then the candy at the movie…*cough*

But things are going to get better now! Because do you know what arrived on my doorstep yesterday? My shiny new Wii Fit Plus! Holy crap it’s fun! I mean, not in a “Oh look, it’s a game!” kind of way, but definitely fun for a workout. And it appeals to all the obsessively-goal-oriented and competitive sides in me, what with all the little enticers. Things like the chart on the front that maps your BMI. Or how you stamp each day you check in. Or how your little time bank grows and changes as you work out more. Or how every. Single. Exercise/game has a leader board of scores! Seriously, last night the hubby and I plugged it in, and after we both did our set-up he opened a game. And instantly it was on. I refused to let him go to bed until I played every game he had played. So I could kick his ass we could compare. Yeah. It’s fun. I’m trying to play it little enough that it stays fun, instead of going nuts and burning out. But man. Fun. :-D

There, see how I smoothly transitioned us OFF of the topic of my weight? Yup. I’m good like that.

Up next.

Dear dysthemia-

Thanks for cutting me some slack! It’s been nice, I feel good today! I even felt good yesterday! Which was nice, what with it being my birthday and all, and what with it not being a day full of super fun things (not that you weren’t fun, refrigerator repair man!). Maybe I can deal with you without meds!

Your biggest anti-fan

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Dear Toby-

I love you. So much. You are such a good, good boy. Thank you for helping me get through the hard early part of this week. It never ceases to amaze me how I can be spiraling down, and you either respond to my cue for help instantly, or sense what I need, and become the only thing that can pull me back up so I can get in control. Love you, baby!

your mommy

PS So sorry to nick your eyelid the other night while trimming your face/eyelashes! Thank you for being such a good boy and not freaking out, and even letting me finish trimming! I promise to be more careful in the future. *cuddle*

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Dear new job-

I love working at you! I’m learning so much about health and nutrition…granted, it’s for animals, but the same basic principals apply to us! I mean, not the eat lots of protein and carbs are useless, but the meet your needs and your entire health/behavior will improve! I have seen the amazing change in my dog, going from a diet of Wellness (pretty high quality but with grain) to a half-and-half diet of Wellness and Acana (high quality grain-free) mixed with a tiny bit of wet food to spoil him. His plaque has disappeared. His energy level is higher, but in a good non-manic way. He’s softer. He’s just healthier. I can’t wait until the Wellness I have is gone and to see what happens when we go to a full Acana diet!

Makes me think maybe I should try it for me. New goal: Find a primary care physician who is more holistic, instead of just checking off a list of individual, separate symptoms, and assigning a drug for each, or telling me I’m “within normal levels” on each individual thing when the whole is not right.

Thanks for opening my eyes!

Your employee

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Dear Wii Fit-

Thanks for rocking my socks off!

The soon to be fit-ter me!

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Dear hubby-

Thanks for such a wonderful birthday. I had an awesome time with you last night. A really, really AWESOME time. You are the bestest hubby ever, and I am so lucky :-)

your wifey

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OK, I think that’ll do for now.

Next up:

1. What do you think makes a good friend, or friendship?

Not being overly-pushy. Seriously, I really get annoyed with people who can’t take a hint and who keep pushing to have more and more and more time together. Let me enjoy the time we had, stop pushing for the next time! Everyone should be able to spend some time alone without freaking!

Can you tell I’ve had issues with this? In other people, not me. No, really! I err on the side of hiding in my home.

Otherwise, it’s mainly who I can relax and hang out with. Being non-judgmental of everyday things. Someone I can talk to and know that when I leave they won’t be gossiping about me. I am hard on friends. I have very few I’m really comfortable with. I <3 my bestest buds and can’t wait to see them again!

Which reminds me of my last criteria: Live near me. (Hint hint Erica!)

2. What is the last thing you bought & later regretted?

How ’bout the last thing I returned and later regretted? As I’ve mentioned, I have a thing about books. I like owning the copy I read. But I also like them all to match. Well, my friend has me reading The Dresden Files. It’s OK, I’m not a huge fan, but they’re fun. Well, I was going on a trip and I needed the next one in the series, so I bought it at the airport bookstore, even though it was a weird-sized paperback. You know the ones where they’re too tall but the right width for a standard paperback? What is up with those?? So odd! Anyway, I wanted the right dimensions, and I’m not really attached to these books, so I had my hubby return it yesterday, assuming I could find the right size somewhere. Now, however, I’m realizing I can’t find it anywhere, even online! Argh! So if I have to have an oversized copy, I at least want my oversized copy! I’ll have to swing by and see if they still have it. :-P

As for buying things…I never regret buying things! Oh wait, I know, a Victoria’s Secret bra! I was with my mom and we went and had a great fitter, who totally understood women who don’t have much of a chest at all, and recommended good bras and how to fit. So I bought one. But then I got home, and realized the one I bought didn’t fit quite right. So I need to return it. Except my mom bought it and I paid her back with a check, so she could get the points. So I’m not sure if I can return it. Hmm, I should try. :-P

3. Have you ever had a prank played on you?

No. My hubby takes good care of me, and makes sure people know not to do this. I couldn’t really handle it. The closest I’ve had is when I worked in a cleanroom for a summer job. I was an engineering intern, so I was in and out of the fab (cleanroom). One of my fab coworkers went around and told everyone one of my legs was shorter than the other. You know, the classic Eileen = I-lean joke? Except he didn’t tell it as a joke. He told it as a fact. Soon everyone around me believed it, and it took me awhile to catch on. Subtlest play on my name ever, it amused me :-)

4. What is your favorite theme park?

Not really a theme park kinda girl…heat + crowds = bleh. I did thoroughly enjoy Ocean Park in Hong Kong! Combination aquarium and theme park, that was a lot of fun. Dolphin shows, fun rides, cool jellyfish aquarium, it was just a good time!

5. Have you ever seen someone else give birth?

Not unless “A Baby Story” counts! I’m kind of curious about it. What with me getting more and more ready to go through it and all. It’s crazy how birth is now-a-days, from what I see. They are so involved. Thus far every episode I’ve seen ends in c-section. Even the ones that try for a “natural” birth with “no drugs” have used pitocin to speed up labor. Here this woman is dilated, so they’re about to break her water for her. What the heck? What ever happened to just letting it happen? I don’t want a home birth, because if something does go wrong I want to be right where I need to be, and I have no problem using pain meds, but I don’t understand how managed it all is anymore. I don’t want to pick my baby’s birthday ahead of or right on the due date so they don’t “get to big.” My brother and I were both 2 weeks late. It didn’t used to be a big deal. It’s like the facebook group says: “It’s a due date, not an expiration date!” So we shall see how my own goes, but I anticipate some arguments in my future. One thing I’ve learned from all my experiences: don’t just trust the “experts.” They’re just people doing their job like the rest of us. Pushing back is not bad.

So that’s it! To play along with any of the memes, just click on the buttons.

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Too True Tuesday – My Shameful Procrastination

This week, Essie has dared us to admit what we procrastinate on. Things we put off doing until the last second was days ago.

In the interest of time, I decided to just list what I DON’T procrastinate doing. Are you ready? Here’s my list:

Phew! Sorry if I went into too much detail there! Didn’t want to miss anything!

Seriously. I procrastinate doing EVERYTHING. Even things I WANT to do. Hungry? I’ll wait til I’m sick to go get food. Excited to go somewhere? I’ll wait until five minutes after when Google maps tells me I should leave. Wanted to get something done all week month year? When I finally have the time I’ll sit and stare at my often-blank computer screen instead.

Oh yeah. It’s that bad.

The most annoying procrastination for me or that I hate to leave somewhere. Even if I don’t want to be there, leaving is hard. So I will put off leaving until I’m late to wherever I’m going. And I HATE being late places, so then I’m all stressed out!

(I’m sure you can imagine how well that goes over with clients, too.)

So I try not to make extra stops. If I’m out I get all my errands done, because “just running into the house” will take all evening! And in these ways, I try to stay only a LITTLE behind.

And on the upside for my clients, it means they usually get more than the hour of training they paid for!

Now go on over to Essie’s and link up to play along! She lists housecleaning as her big procrastination…which I think is cheating. I mean, does anyone NOT put off housekeeping chores???

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Filed under Too True Tuesday