It’s time for Writer’s Workshop with Mama Kat!
Today’s prompt (well, yesterday’s prompt, but you know):
2) I wish I would have…describe a time when you didn’t take action, but later wished you would have.
This one’s fairly easy for me to answer (after some thought).
About a year and a half ago, I went to my primary care physician for a problem I was having. She prescribed me a med, and told me to come back in a week to see if I was having any side effects. Okiday, hopefully this will work!
A week later, I go back, and tell her I think I’m having a fairly major side-effect. She completely brushes me off. “There’s no way, it’s too early for that to be showing up!” she said confidently. And…she was the expert. She’d gone to med school. If she told me this wasn’t a side-effect, well, then it wasn’t a side effect! It must just be caused by something else in life or…me.
Fast-forward 6 months. For other medical tests, I had to go off of my prescription. I did. And as soon as it was out of my system, that symptom that definitely wasn’t a side effect….went away. Entirely. Completely. Totally.
I felt like me again! It changed my entire perspective on myself, to realize that this horrible symptom I’d been dealing with, thinking it was my fault, was really entirely imposed by a drug.
But, you know, 6 months of thinking there is something wrong with you stays with you. And it’s hard to let go of. And it has affected me in ways I still haven’t been able to shake. It’s been a year, and I’m still suffering from that doctor’s dismissal.
I wish I had stood up to her. I wish I had researched the drug and realized what I was complaining of was an incredibly common side-effect. I wish I’d gone back a few weeks later and made her pay attention.
I wish I hadn’t been so intimidated by “authority” that I let myself suffer for months, in a way that has, and will, affect me for years.
Doctors are just professionals like any other worker. They aren’t gods. They aren’t perfect. And I know my body better than them. At least I’ve learned to (try harder to) stand up for myself in the future.