Thank goodness it’s not infertility

As you may have read, I want a baby. A whole damn lot wee bit.

For very good reasons, we are not ready to have one yet. Hopefully soon, but not yet. And I have no argument with that fact.

And still, every time I’m watching TV, and someone mentions, “We’re expecting a baby!” it makes my heart twinge. It can be done so casually, skipped by in passing among the other, “more important” events going on. There can be no warning, it just comes out mid-conversation. It always recaptures my full attention. And I always feel a pang of jealousy.

Every time I hear about my friends’ pregnancies, or upcoming domestic infant adoption, on Facebook, it pulls at my heart. I’m happy for them. I really am. But I can’t hold back the envy, the longing that accompanies that happiness.

And this is just because we’re choosing not to have a baby.

I can’t imagine how much worse this would be if it were due to infertility. Due to trying and working and aching to have a baby, and not being able to.

If you are battling that horrible problem, my heart goes out to you. Much love and strength in your battle.


Filed under Life

3 responses to “Thank goodness it’s not infertility

  1. When we wanted a baby, every month that went by without one broke my heart. When my good friend announced her pregnancy, I cried and cried and cried. Then we had a baby. Now, every month that goes by without a pregnancy ‘scare’ is reason to rejoice :-P Another baby right now might push me over the edge into Crazy Lady Land… the grass is always greener, I guess…

    • Ha! I went through well over a year where every month I celebrated when my period came! I was just NOT READY to have kids, and I would get so upset at the possibility if even the smallest sign arose! Now, however… :-)

  2. Infertility is a nightmare :(

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