What the Hell: Anniversary Edition

Today is a very special anniversary: The one year anniversary of What The Hell Wednesdays! Congrats to the Blue Monkey Butt sisters! Go link up and play along in their honor :-)

The hubby and I planned on going to a professional soccer game last night. I enjoy soccer, it’s a really fun sport. I’d been looking forward to it all week (since we changed our plans and decided to go to this one and schedule a conflict with the other possible one). Then a client called and wanted to schedule a meeting. At 4:15. OK, great! I figured I’d be home by around 5:30, maybe a bit later. But, being me, I procrastinated leaving the appointment. And got stuck in traffic. And ended up being forty-five minutes later than I said. And when I said I’d be home was evidently the latest we could have left to make it (which I misunderstood). So we didn’t go. WHAT THE HELL is wrong with me??? I’d been so excited to go to this game, and I knew I needed to leave, and I just…put it off…until it was too late (though I didn’t know it was “too” late at the time, just late). I have got to stop doing that!! Why do I procrastinate at things I want to do?????

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The other day I was at work. Have I mentioned that at work we carry 45+ pound bags of food and litter? A woman asked for help carrying her 40lb bag to her car.  No problem, we do it all the time for people who need help! But I was sore, since rather than the usual 2-3 pallets of heavy bags and cans to unload on Friday, we had 8, 6 of which were stacked taller than me. And that I helped to unload 6 of them. So I was sore (and buff!). I grab this woman’s bag, head out to her car….with her chatting all the way. (Evidently she can’t walk and chat, either.) About some construction going on nearby. Asking what it was. Telling me she didn’t know there were areas that could be developed around here still. Etc. While standing next to her car. Not opening the door or telling me where to put it. I mean, WHAT THE HELL was she thinking, that I enjoy doing sustained-carries of 40 pound bags? I’m scrawny, lady, open the damn door!!

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This week I was tipped off to a great article by Kristen at Rage Against The Minivan. The article is all about breastfeeding, and how the crazy breastfeeding movement has really done a lot to oppress women, even when there isn’t any good scientific evidence to back up most/all of their claims that breastfeeding has any positive effect on the health of mother or baby. They make breastfeeding out to be the “ultimate badge of responsible parenting,” ignoring the hardships involved and often soundly denouncing anyone who doesn’t as too selfish to have children. Here’s an excerpt:

The debate about breast-feeding takes place without any reference to its actual context in women’s lives. Breast-feeding exclusively is not like taking a prenatal vitamin. It is a serious time commitment that pretty much guarantees that you will not work in any meaningful way. Let’s say a baby feeds seven times a day and then a couple more times at night. That’s nine times for about a half hour each, which adds up to more than half of a working day, every day, for at least six months. This is why, when people say that breast-feeding is “free,” I want to hit them with a two-by-four. It’s only free if a woman’s time is worth nothing.

Here’s another quote, this one about how the view has become that the mother’s health/well-being should become completely unimportant relative to the needs of her children. Even if breastfeeding is a big source of stress on the woman and her marriage and means she has to completely sacrifice her career, of course the infant’s needs come first if there’s even the possibility that breastfeeding is better. You only have to read the comments on this article to see that view expressed over and over.

Mothers these days are expected to “optimize every dimension of children’s lives,” she writes. Choices are often presented as the mother’s selfish desires versus the baby’s needs. As an example, Wolf quotes What to Expect When You’re Expecting, from a section called the “Best-Odds Diet,” which I remember quite well: “Every bite counts. You’ve got only nine months of meals and snacks with which to give your baby the best possible start in life … Before you close your mouth on a forkful of food, consider, ‘Is this the best bite I can give my baby?’ If it will benefit your baby, chew away. If it’ll only benefit your sweet tooth or appease your appetite put your fork down.” To which any self-respecting pregnant woman should respond: “I am carrying 35 extra pounds and my ankles have swelled to the size of a life raft, and now I would like to eat some coconut-cream pie. So you know what you can do with this damned fork.”

Good, huh? Now go read the whole article!

WHAT THE HELL is wrong with these crazy breastfeeding advocates?? I mean, when I have kids I want to breastfeed, mainly because I feel like, in general, if you have a choice between natural and artificial (which is trying to approximate natural), and there’s no other concern, you might as well go natural because there is so much we don’t understand about the natural that might be missing in the artificial. I have always looked forward to breastfeeding, and want to be home with a baby anyway, so no big deal for me. But these crazy people make me want to not breastfeed out of spite!

(Side note: This position is also based on many people I have met in person, not just what the article says. The article resonated with me so much because of personal experience.)

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Glee!, a show which I typically love, broached the tough topic of religion last night. I was so freaking tense the whole episode, waiting to see if the “Christianity is best” attitude would win out. But I kept on getting pissed at Kurt’s friends. Storyline: Kurt’s dad has a heart attack (and more) and is in the hospital in a coma. Kurt doesn’t believe in god/religion, what with being gay and being told by most Christian religions that the way god made him is sinful and all. His “friends” keep trying to push god down his throat as a way to comfort him. Mercedes: “I’ve been thinking all day what I want to say to Kurt. Then I realized, I don’t want to say it, I want to sing it. This is a song about being in a dark place and turning to god.” She knows that he does not like Christianity at this point, and yet she thinks this is comforting to him?? It’s pure selfishness, it is just comforting to HER. She sings, he politely thanks her, and says he doesn’t believe in god, he doesn’t want their prayers, etc. His friends keep trying to push religion on him. Three show up in his dad’s hospital room to pray over his dad in shifts, “We’re all different denominations, so we figure one must be right.” Another woman then says, “Friends help even when you don’t ask.” He tells them to leave. Later, Mercedes approaches him, “I don’t know how to talk to you anymore. I know you don’t believe in god, but you’re closing yourself off to a whole set of experiences.” Him: “You’re right, I shouldn’t be pushing my friends away.” WHAT THE HELL?????????? His friends shouldn’t be so selfish as to try to force him to turn to god when he’s down and extremely stressed, just because their much lesser level of stress is causing them to turn to god!! She then asks him to go to church with her, and he does. Again, WHAT THE HELL. I’m glad they didn’t end with a miracle conversion, but come on. Can we at least acknowledge that pushing their faith on him repeatedly was a selfish and dickish move, especially at such a time in his life, rather than just talking about how him not wanting to hear it was bad?? His dad was possibly in a coma for life. He’s allowed to be a bit selfish about not wanting to hear how it’s all part of god’s plan when he doesn’t believe in god. They are not allowed to be selfish and call it support. It’s only support if the person in question finds it supportive!

That’s it for me, now WHAT THE HELL are you waiting for? Go link up and play along!

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1 Comment

Filed under Life, What the Hell Wednesday

One response to “What the Hell: Anniversary Edition

  1. You mean you don’t just carry 40 lb bags of dog food around with for just the hell of it???

    I do believe that some people are too militant about breastfeeding. I’ve bottle fed 2 and breastfed the other two. The youngest was breastfed for almost a year and has food allergies and catches every cold that comes along. I did what was right for us.

    Thanks for joining us for What The Hell Wednesday! Please stop by and leave a comment with your email address so you’ll be eligible for the gift card. You have until midnight EST.

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