RTT: The one where I let others talk for me when I’m not babbling on myself

This week for RTT I’m linking to a bunch of awesome things I’ve come across in addition to my own current rambling randoms. This post could alternately be titled, “How many readers can I alienate by posting things that are controversial?” Promise I’m not trying to be controversial…I just find these things important and/or they were a part of my life and so I legitimately think of them. You have been warned…

I came up with the perfect analogy: A hospital birth is like a Catholic wedding. They have done it a million times, they have their strict rules on how things are done, and they’ll only allow you limited, pre-approved choices within their way to try to pretend they’re making it special for you (i.e. It will open with a prayer, which of these three do you want?).

But you’re really just a number, and a “good” mother/bride is one who goes along with their cookie-cutter process without requesting modifications, doing independent looking into how things are done elsewhere, or asking questions as to why things are the way they are.

If their type of birth/wedding is exactly what you want, then you’re good to go. But if you want anything different, even something that seems minor, you’ll fight for it the whole time up until the big day and then they may change things on you at the last minute, anyway.

I regretted my decision to have a Catholic wedding long before my big day, but for various reasons didn’t feel I could get out of it (and didn’t feel it was worth starting the hassle over). I’m glad I looked into my options for birth before getting pregnant, so I don’t feel trapped into a hospital birth! (PS If anyone ever wants to ask me what I’ve found in my now-extensive research into the area, always happy to share. I’m so glad someone opened my eyes to the possibility and increased safety of a midwife-assisted birth)

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Corey is amazing. She has written many posts that have touched me, but this one is especially close to my heart.

If you know anyone living with depression (and chances are good you do), read this.

I am scared of depression. Scared because it waits like some gray slithery dark thing around the periphery of my life, waits to suck me away, and sometimes I can feel it coming and I fight, fight, FIGHT it and I always wonder, is this the time it’s going to get me for good?

If you fight the horrible monster that is depression, read this.

This is a season. A really sucky one, perhaps, but just a season. And you are going to get through it, and you are going to be okay.

One day at a time. Or one hour. One minute. One second.

Keep swimming.

And if you can’t.. hang on. And keep breathing.

Finally, do you want to know what to say to someone fighting depression? It’s not, “Cheer up, you’ll be fine.” It’s not, “Look at these things to be happy about!” And it’s definitely not, “It’s OK, I get sad too, sometimes.” It’s this:

…I try to think of every possible thing I can [do] to let them know.. I see you. I love you. Keep fighting. Don’t let it win.

No matter how many times I read them, those last few sentences bring tears to my eyes. That’s what a depressed person wants and needs to hear. They are seen, they are not invisible. They are loved for exactly who they are. And that others recognize the battle they are fighting for their life, literally, and want them to win.

And finally, remember. Depression is NOT being sad. Depression fucks with your brain chemistry. A person with depression is as biologically off as a person with high blood pressure, or low thyroid function, or a heart arrhythmia. So no matter how many times you’ve told those things to a person when they’re up? They will NOT remember it when they’re down. Say it again. Show it again. As often as you can. It may be the difference between life and death. Or, less dramatically, living and surviving.

Seriously. Go read the whole post.

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OK, how about something fun? This is what I consider to be a pretty darn accurate conversation between a human and their dog.

Sneak preview:

Me, stomping back to the kitchen: OKAY. GIVE ME THE DAMNED SWEET POTATO.
Dog, looking up guiltily: What sweet potato?
Me: THE ONE IN YOUR MOUTH.
Dog: Oh, did you want this? I just, um. Found it. Lying here.

Yup. Sounds like a day in my house :-)

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I am now the very ashamed owner of a snuggie. But I am also the very warm owner of a snuggie!

I mean, come on, my dog doesn’t have one, so I figure I’m still good.

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I found a fabulous article titled “Why Can’t You Leave Religion Alone?” Unfortunately, it only seems to exist as a Facebook note, so hopefully you have an account. Here’s the gist, patched together by me:

Religion gets carte blanche to be as vocal as it wants, to knock on our doors and accost us in our homes, in our places of work, in our personal and professional lives.   Believers are charged with a life mission to preach, teach, disciple, shout it from the mountaintops and to “go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.”  Religion…is everywhere. […] And religion is not satisfied with merely existing quietly in the homes and hearts of the faithful.

[…]

Throughout our history, those who raise a simple hand of protest against these advances have been portrayed as the real problem.  Religion has attempted to marginalize and defeat legitimate questions and concerns by indignantly portraying any resistors as misguided, immoral, rudderless, angry, miserable, lost and alone.

And when skepticism challenges wildly improbable (or impossible) stories found in the bible, the Qur’an and other holy books, the religious wail, “Why can’t you just leave us alone?”

The irony is thick.

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The hubby and I bought a Groupon to get our carpets cleaned. I am so f*cking excited. I am tired of my house smelling like pee. Time for a clean slate.

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Polygamy is a fascinating topic. Love reading about it. Will have to update y’all on the two most recent books I read/am reading. They’re written by two wives of the same man. So. Cool.

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I so know this look.

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You totally don’t want to read this if you’re male. It involves blood coming out of a woman’s hoo-hah. In a ridiculously hilarious fashion. We’ve all been there, ladies…if “there” is the big wide world when you miscounted your weeks and didn’t pack supplies. Have a laugh on me.

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There is nothing to make you resent (and start to hate) cats like working at the crazy @$$ cat rescue I work at. Not all of them. But definitely the favorites of the rescue people, who then put such strong restrictions on them they never get adopted.

About 8 months ago, three cats came back in who are all siblings. Of course, the crazy cat rescue proclaimed they were bonded, and refused to even consider separating them.

Fast forward 8 months. Not. One. Person has even requested an application for them…and since the crazy cat rescue rejects more applications than it accepts, and not every app requested is turned back in, they’ll need many apps before they can go home. But the assistant manager (who is also one of the three people who makes up the cat rescue) is in love with these cats. They’re her favorites. She spends all her time fawning over them. So of course she would never consider doing something that might upset them.

Even though we’ve all noticed they’re no longer anywhere near as bonded as they used to be when they first arrived and were terrified 24/7 and clinging to each other for security.

On Friday I was in, and noticed that Cat A had been locked out of her room at night for 3, possibly 4 nights in a row. So that’s 3-4 nights and much of the days that Cat A was away from her brother and sister. And Friday we didn’t catch her and put her back, so she spent almost 24 hours away from them. She knows where her room and her siblings are. She never once sought them out. Not. Once. No crying by anyone. They were all perfectly happy.

So I wrote a note, pointing this out, and saying maybe we could consider separating them since we have had tens of people interested in adopting one or even two of them and they don’t seem to mind being separated any more.

I received a note back from the assistant manager which said, basically, no chance in hell. Because of course they’re bonded.

But I refused to give up. And wrote back that I wasn’t saying they weren’t bonded, but that they might be OK being separated because the bond was no longer exclusive.

The new manager, one of the other two people working for the rescue, came back from vacation today and read our three notes.

I’m excited to see if I’m fired when I go back on Friday.

But everyone who doesn’t work for the rescue is so dang sick of these cats, who are constantly ruining merchendise and are impossible to catch and will never get out of here unless something changes. And the cats are so miserable, because really, there is zero stability in their lives and they can’t just relax. Plus, what’s the point of working in a rescue where cats don’t get rescued? It’s not fair to anyone for these cats to live the rest of their lives in the store. So I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and I had to do something. Writing a respectful note for the good of all (but the woman who would have to say goodbye to the cats if they were adopted) seemed not-crazy.

In summary:

1) I hope no one from my store reads this.

2) I hope I still have a job when I show up on Friday. And I hope I still have one on Sunday, when I work with the manager and assistant manager…and no one else.

3) This cat rescue has given me a vindictive pleasure in little things. Like this HILARIOUS conversation about a girl’s missing cat and the posters she wanted made for it. Giggling out loud. :-) Promise, you’ll like it even if you don’t work at a crazy cat rescue!

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I now own a Prius (more on that later). Does that mean I’m a hippie?

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Y’all are awesome. Thanks for the comments I received on my last post. They helped a lot.

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It’s still Tuesday by 1.6 hours. THAT MEANS THIS IS TOTALLY LEGITIMATE. Shut up.

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2 Comments

Filed under Life, Random Thoughts Tuesday

2 responses to “RTT: The one where I let others talk for me when I’m not babbling on myself

  1. SO many thoughts and comments….must get my ass to work now….coming back later to touch base on these topics, cause you know me, I’ve got something to say about damn near all of them.

    PS – i think you’re fabulous, and I’m glad you stumbled upon my blog, so that in turn found yours. well played blogosphere.

  2. Erica

    Did you know I spent pretty much all day doing nothing other than running through all of these links (and others :D ). You were absolute death to my productivity. :D

    Like Annabelle there are just too many things to say about all of this. Easiest thing to say for now is that I love you and that you post the best stuff. :)
    <3
    ::POKE!::

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