Dear So & So…

I have some things to share. Let’s get into them.

Dear store owners,

Really, y’all? Really? Could you maybe, just maybe, once in awhile, give a teeny-tiny word of praise? I mean, come on, calling the former manager and, literally, cussing her out (before hanging up on her out of anger) because you got one e-mail from one customer that they didn’t like our service, and faxing over the e-mail and insisting everyone read it while calling the former manager names, is a wee bit over the top. And the things the customer complained about? Not getting greeted, or not getting greeted cheerily enough. Not having someone follow her around asking if she wanted help. And not offering to carry her bag of dog food to her car every time. Now hang on. When I am there almost every single customer gets greeted. I don’t care what’s going on, they’re greeted, warmly, when they’re walked in. The exception is if we’re all with a customer, in which case we just smile. Immediately after, if anyone is available, they are asked if they need help. If we can’t get them right away, we’ll ask them if they look like they’re looking for something. And you know what? Half the time, the customers get annoyed that we’re asking if they need help! And carrying bags to the car? I’m sorry, we’re checking out a bag of food every few minutes. If someone needed help getting it to the counter, we’ll offer to carry it to the car. If they look injured or unable to do it, we’ll ask. If they look perfectly healthy we assume they can do it! Know why? If we offer to do a simple physical task for the average person, they get offended!

So how ’bout this. What if, instead of calling and screaming at the former manager and going completely off your rocker, you calmly called the manager, or assistant manager (or even former manager, if you must) to discuss this. See if they had seen anything like this. Point it out to them. Maybe even throw in a, “I know you guys work hard there (which is why we have you do all of the big orders and send them to the other stores), but this came up so I want you to focus on it.” Ask them if there are any employees they think need to work on it.

Or here’s an idea. Get off your lazy ass and come up here yourself to see how things are going.

Because you know what? Customers have before TOLD us that they sent nice letters/e-mails about us to the owners.

And we have never. once. heard. from you that you received them. If the customers hadn’t told us, we wouldn’t have known. One kind e-mail? Nothing. One nasty e-mail? Extreme rudeness and abuse.

There is only so long a person can keep working hard when they are given no respect, or even acknowledgement for doing so, and yet are constantly yelled at for any slight misstep (or the misstep of someone else).

I am so. sick. of working for you.

Either get your ass up here and work to change things, hire managers that you trust and give them the power and freedom to be able to actually manage (rather than making all decisions go through you), or accept that the store may not be exactly how you want. But when you only come up once every few weeks for an hour or so, and take someone off the floor to go talk with them? You have no. idea how things work around here. So stfu.


your disgruntled employee (if you can think of her, since she matters less than the damn cats)


Dear OB,

Thank you for taking the time to meet with me today and talk to me about what I can do to get ready for pregnancy. There were some med changes we needed to discuss, and I appreciate you meeting with me to do so, even though I’m not pregnant.

However, I’m sorry, but you have pretty much convinced me that I do not want to birth with you.

Maybe it was the way I felt guilty for taking your time (during an appointment I scheduled and paid for). How it felt like you had somewhere more important to be, and I almost lost the courage to ask you my questions. How you were paged by someone else, and told them you’d call them back in a minute once you got out of this patient room (less than 5 minutes after walking in). I did get good information out of you, but I only got to ask about half of the questions I wanted to, and even those were a push.

Maybe it was the way we were very much in a “because I said so” environment, with you saying things like “Go off of this.” End of story. And I was so rushed and trying to make sure I got all my questions in, I didn’t even think to ask, “Why?” No informing of risk or benefit, just “Do this, don’t do that.”

Maybe it was the way you had a woman in labor, but you weren’t with her. You were prescribing procedures over the phone…without being there. I have no idea how close this one was to birth, but I’m guessing you’ll just be racing over there once she is fully dilated and effaced and desperate to push, like you did last time I saw you. Which would make sense if she was down the hall…but she’s not.

Maybe it was how, when at the end I got up the courage to ask if your patients often had birth plans and how you felt about them, you gave the infamous, “Oh yeah, a lot of my patients have birth plans. But you know, if you’re rigid about it, you’ll be certain to have a c-section. It’s Murphy’s Law, that’s how it works. The women who have strict birth plans always end up with c-sections.” Which, roughly translated, means, “Oh sure, you can tell us what you want. And then when you’re in labor and have no power or option to change providers, we’ll tell you what we want. And be unsupportive of your preferences once we’ve stated ours. And then we’ll wait until you’re tired from labor and from fighting us and just give up, and whisk you into an “emergency” c-section at that point.” Saying a women who is rigid about her birth plan always ends up with a c-section just means that you don’t think it is possible to birth without interventions, because if you thought it was, there would be no reason to go against the birth plan and women would be able to be “rigid” and be successful at least sometimes. And really? Women go to midwives all the time with birth plans. Strict ones. I mean, heck, the no pain meds is strict just because there usually aren’t any at a birth center/home. And the vast, vast majority of those women get the birth they want…without a c-section. A midwife has no problem saying, “You need to go to a hospital now,” or, “I’m sorry, but the baby’s in distress, we need a c-section.” But they try everything else first. Because their goal is not to get you in, delivered, and out. Their goal is to help you get the birth you want if at all possible, but still to keep you safe and be realistic. I understand you have to be flexible, because you never know what will happen in your labor, in your birth, or even how you’ll feel at the time. But I think I’d rather a provider who views my birth plan as our goal, rather than my goal.

You have been a great GYN. I just don’t think I want an OB.

your kind-of patient


Dear tutoring center-

I am very excited to be working for you :-D I hope this leads to good things. And I’ve got to say, the e-mail checking on if I’d gotten things to work out timing-wise, saying that you’d be willing to move things if needed because you really want me as a tutor at your organization? Made me feel quite good. :-D

Hope I live up to your expectations! And I hope that my number of hours increase relatively rapidly, so I can leave the pet store.

your future employee


Dear agility-

Thanks so much for letting me swap classes. It is really quite awesome. And it let me take a teaching/tutoring job that I’m hoping will develop into something great.

Y’all rock.

Hope I don’t hold up the new class too much :P

your faithful student

1 Comment

Filed under Dear So and So..., Life, Uncategorized

One response to “Dear So & So…

  1. Kat

    I had midwives for both of my births. Best experience ever. I didn’t have a birth plan other than “I want meds” “no I am not taking Lamaze, women have been having babies since the dawn of time and didn’t need that crap” and “make sure there is food for me after this is over”. I did however get to ask as many questions of my midwives and never ever felt rushed. In fact I know I usually stayed a good 15 min past my appointment time gabbing with the nurses in the office and getting more advise from them on the way out the door. Find an office that you are comfortable with. Don’t feel guilty taking your medical care elsewhere.

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