Sleep Deprived (AKA So Effing Tired)

I.

Am.

Exhausted.

I was going to bold one of those words, but I’m too tired.

It has been weeks since I slept well. Since I slept through the night. Since I didn’t have stress dreams/nightmares.

My insomnia has kicked in with a passion.

I cannot fall asleep. No matter what hour I go to bed or how exhausted I am when my head hits the pillow, I spend the next 1-3 hours lying wide awake with my eyes shut, trying to relax enough to let some peace in.

I cannot stay asleep. I have woken up several hours before I needed to every. Single. Morning.

My CFS is not caused by my insomnia, but it sure can be made worse by it. And, unrelated to any of that, I need an abnormal amount of sleep just to stay normal. About 10 hours a night. Ridiculous. Unreasonable. Which is why I am often low-level tired. But that is my base level that is really required for functioning. I can do 9 sometimes, but I’ll pay for it.

So let’s look at last night, just as a typical example.

Fall asleep around 12:30AM.

Wake up from nightmares at 6AM.

In case you’re a bit fuzzy on math, that’s 5.5 hours of (nightmare-riddled) sleep.

And in case that fuzziness extends, 5.5 < 10. Also, 5.5 < 9.

Yeah.

That.

For 2+ weeks.

So.

Effing.

Tired.

I’m hoping it’s hormones. And that as my body regulates to being off the pill (pleaseohpleaseohplease) this will go away.

Soon.

Really, really soon.

So tired of living in a fog and being unable to do the one thing that would help: sleep.

So tired of the bitchy, short-tempered person I become on this cocktail of minimal sleep + wonky hormones.

Just so tired.

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2 Comments

Filed under Invisible Illnesses, Life

2 responses to “Sleep Deprived (AKA So Effing Tired)

  1. Kathryn

    I am sorry. I was seriously sleep deprived for about six years. (Funny how that corresponds to both kids learning to sleep though the night…) It is not fun or funny or easy to fix. I hope that you are able to find something that helps soon. Even if it just takes the edge off a bit. Sleep is good, and I think way too many people take sleeping well for granted. I hope that you get a nice sleep soon. Maybe the new bike will help? I hope so.

  2. blehk…sorry to hear that.
    I’ve always been a vivid dreamer but only rarely do I have nightmares. Though, when I was pregnant my dreams were off the charts in yikes!

    Today’s telling what to do moment is brought to you by PM Yoga.
    You don’t even have to be super good (or any kind of good)for beginners yoga DVDs. You lower the lights, light something that smells relaxing to you, do the PM Yoga routine to wind yourself down and calm your brain.

    May not PUT you to sleep but it may help you to sleep calmer.

    ohmmmmmmmm ; )

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