Why I shouldn’t be a morning person

5:06 AM: Phone buzzes, ringing on silent. Wake up. What the hell…? It’s 5:30! Check number. 570 number. Out of state. Must be a crazy client. Screw them. Roll over and go back to sleep.

5:07 AM: Buzzing stops.

5:08 AM: Oh shit! That was probably the automated sub-finder system I just set up this weekend. That was a job! Shitshitshit!

5:09 AM: Look up number on phone internet. Yup. It’s Subfinder. Shit. Well, there goes possibly my last opportunity for the year.

5:10 AM: Fret.

5:14 AM: Set phone to audible so if they call back I wake up. Try to go back to sleep.

5:15 AM: They’re calling!!! Grab phone and run out of bedroom to not wake hubby. Hello? Hear automated speaking voice informing me of job. Confused. Is job with DHH kids? Scurry downstairs to check on computer.

5:16 AM: Log into Subfinder online. Keep making phone repeat message while I look things up. What the hell?? This person doesn’t exist! She’s not listed on the DHH program website nor the school’s website, nor anywhere!

5:17 AM: Hang up on Subfinder without making a decision to accept or reject. Keep looking up this person and other sub job.

5:22 AM: Try to call school to find out who these people are. School is closed. Lazy school. Keep searching online.

5:29 AM: Subfinder calls back! Reject job, since it doesn’t seem to be DHH. Keep looking into other potential job.

5:43 AM: Subfinder calls back again! Reject second job, doesn’t seem to be DHH.

5:44 AM: Screw around on internet.

6:00 AM: Hear hubby’s alarm go off upstairs. I know! I’ll surprise him! But first….better screw around on the internet some more.

6:05 AM: Sneak upstairs. Crack open door. See puppy cuddling hubby adorably. Set down phone. LEAP on top of hubby! Hubby: “What the hell..???” So romantic.

6:06 AM: Pepper hubby with kisses. Hmmm, he still seems grumpy. Didn’t you hear me open the door? Hubby says no.

6:09 AM: Still grumpy…I was just trying to wake you up after your alarm went off! Isn’t this better than another alarm? Hubby: My alarm didn’t go off… Me: (ohshitohshitohshitohshit) …Yes it did! I heard it!…or maybe you got a call…(hubby could sleep through a freaking air raid if it didn’t sound like his alarm)

6:10 AM: Snooze alarm isn’t going off..um…crap.

6:11 AM: Beg forgiveness. Grumpy hubby can’t go back to sleep. Real alarm is in 19 minutes.

6:12 AM: Note to self: No more romantic wakings.


1 Comment

Filed under Life

One response to “Why I shouldn’t be a morning person

  1. LoL…..thinking if you’d thrown one more “surprise” in there, wink wink, that he wouldn’t have been so grumpy.

    However, considering how very much I despise mornings myself, probably not.

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