“It only takes one time…”

I have moved! I am now blogging at The Energizer Mommy. Please come join me there!

Growing up we are constantly bombarded with the idea that “it only takes one time to get pregnant.”

Which is true.

But in impressing on everyone how very possible it is to get pregnant from just one time of having sex…it starts to spread the idea that it is easy to get pregnant.

Every time someone gets pregnant accidentally it is a major story, even if just among friends, that is passed along….and encourages the idea that it is easy to get pregnant.

By warning women how careful they have to be to not get pregnant…it impresses the idea that getting pregnant is easy and almost automatic unless you actively prevent it.

Which then makes it harder to come to grips with when you don’t get pregnant immediately.

One women on a board I frequent (which I’m not going to link to because I kind of enjoy these being separate, and she wants to keep her family planning private), had this to say in response to a question about her “aha moment” regarding trying to conceive:

Uhm…. like as in, “AH HA, this $hit isn’t as easy as my sex ed teacher said it would be”?

Because I think that overall feeling is the biggest one — after fearing pregnancy for so long, to finally want it, and not be able to get it…  Even though you’re taught as an adolescent that “all it takes is once”.

Because really, what it takes is:

taking PNVs religiously, making best friends with your CM and CP, reaching for the thermometer every time you wake up, trying to keep sex sexy even though you’re really kinda looking at your husband like he’s a sperm dispenser, trying cycle after cycle at exactly the right time…  and even *then* some people never achieve pregnancy.

AH HA, I guess.

I hope I’m not at this for long. If only so I still have some readers at the end of this journey. And don’t drive my hubby crazy. Or myself.

(Please don’t tell me to chill. I know. And I do, most of the time. But writing helps when it’s eating at me.)


Filed under Life, TTC

2 responses to ““It only takes one time…”

  1. I hope you have luck with it. I have two girlfriends who had difficulty conceiving. One was successful after almost 3 years of IVF, the other is still not. I think the hardest thing is accepting that after all those years of trying NOT to get pegnant, it was the opposite of easy. Anyway, when I got pregnant the third time, I definitely counted my blessings because I knew that not everyone is lucky enough to get pregnant when they want.

    • Thank you. Exactly. We haven’t been trying long by most standards, but it still feels long to me. And even one month of “failure” hits hard after so much subliminal messaging that it happens any time you’re not careful. I hope your girlfriend ends up pregnant soon!

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