Monthly Archives: November 2012

Evidently I’m counter-cultural

From before I got pregnant I was doing this parenting thing against the grain. I’ve never thought of myself as counter-cultural, but the evidence is starting to add up.

First I discovered out-of-hospital birth and found that my fear of birth melted away. I followed through once I got pregnant and delivered in a freestanding birth center a few blocks away from a hospital.

Then I heard of EC. It seemed a little strange, but if it was really possible it made perfect sense! Why teach a kid to not mind sitting in their own waste, and then teach them to dislike it again a few years later? Starting at one month we tried it part way (she still wears diapers but we try to primarily use the potty) and we love it!

Today my baby turned six months old. And tomorrow we’re starting her on solids. By which I mean actual solids. Not purees. We’re doing baby led weaning (BLW).

BLW basically consists of offering your child hunks of solid food and letting her go at it from the beginning. No rice cereal, oatmeal, or purees needed.

This is another instance where I wasn’t looking forward to the standard course. Shoveling food in my daughter’s mouth while dodging her hands and fighting her protestations? It is normal to take 7-12 attempts before she likes a food? Sounds fun! And that’s ignoring what it does to her diapers!

You see, my daughter is strong willed. I have no idea where she gets it. She is currently on antibiotics and Tylenol for bilateral ear infections. If I try to put the syringe in her mouth she screams and turns away. If I’m successful in squirting in some liquid she screams louder. But if I hold the syringe in front of her she’ll eagerly grab it, put it in her mouth, and be happy every time I squirt some in. My little control freak just wants some control over the process. (Again, NO idea where she gets it.)

I dislike eating. To me it is a chore. It is much akin to showering: sometimes enjoyable, but usually a requirement I don’t want to take time for. This is largely because I was forced to eat more than I wanted, faster than I wanted, of things I didn’t like as a child. I was not looking forward to putting something in my daughter’s mouth of my choosing and on my schedule instead of hers: basically taking the “bad guy” role from my own childhood.

That is part of why BLW appeals to me. More, though, it just makes sense! I have let baby love breastfeed on demand her whole life. She picks when she eats, how fast, and how much. BLW is a natural extension of that. I offer her food, and she controls her own intake. It is so logical to me!

And yes, it’s safe. Provided you’re not dumb about it, of course. Don’t give baby whole nuts or grapes, for example. If you take basic precautions, it’s safer than purees in many ways. No food put in baby’s mouth when she’s not ready. No liquid running back to her airpipe and taking her by surprise. She learns to chew from the beginning. Choking is very rare. If you think about it, this is how babies have been fed for ages!

I really discovered BLW a few days ago. Since then I have gone from reluctantly anticipatory about starting solids to bubbling with excitement. Letting baby girl approach and discover solids at her own pace puts the whole thing in a positive light for me. I can’t wait to see how she does with her hunk of banana tomorrow!

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Sleep Woes

First, I do still love the No Cry Sleep Solution, and things are still getting better. But they’re not perfect. And months of sleep deprivation gets to you.And Daylight Savings Time has majorly effed with us. And baby is currently going through a wonder week in which she realizes I can leave, which makes her extra clingy. Plus, I think, a physical growth spurt.

Add all that together and things kind of suck.

We’re still making progress. But it’s slowed. And in some areas backslid.

A major one? We’re back to refusing to get off the breast.

And there’s nothing to make you hate nursing like a child who refuses to stop.

I spent two hours getting baby down last night. TWO HOURS. (And then she woke up thirty minutes later.)

The reason it took so long? She wouldn’t let me take her off the breast.

Before Daylight Savings we had worked our way to a point where I would nurse her to sleep, stand, take her off, and put her in her crib. She’d wake in the process but go right back to sleep.


But now…

Now if I take her off she cries. Awake. And won’t settle.

When I can finally get her off I lower her in the crib. And she wakes. And throws a fit. And won’t settle.

So then when she has a brief awakening in the night she throws a fit and won’t settle.

We’re largely back to up every hour or two.

And it is killing me.

Add in she’s now waking up an hour “early” and…yeah.

I am on the verge of losing it. I am so tired. And I am so frustrated. I was ok with slow progress as long as there was progress. And there was. And it was steady. But I feel like daylight savings has taken that all away. And now I just want to give up.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my eighth attempt to put her down from what was originally a 4:30 waking appears to have been successful (knock wood), so I’m going to snatch the hour of sleep she’ll hopefully give me before we’re up for the day bright and early.


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An award for lil’ old me?

Travelnole who blogs over at Natural Birth nominated me for a Liebster Blog Award. This is an award for bloggers with less than 200 followers and is designed to recognize small-time bloggers and encourage them to keep up the good work. A big thank you to her! To be honest, I hadn’t even known she was following me, but now I’ve been checking out her blog and it’s lost of fun. She’s approaching the end of her pregnancy and nesting like mad (something I know absolutely nothing about…*cough*) and, while I was in the same place a few short months ago it already feels like a whole different life! Go check her out and stay tuned in for some great baby pictures which I’m sure will be arriving soon!

The Liebster Blog Award rules are:

1) Answer the 11 questions written by your nominator.
2) Nominate 11 other bloggers who have less than 200 followers.
3) Write 11 of your own questions for each nominee to answer.

Here are the questions I’m answering:

Of all the posts on your blog, which is your favorite?

Boy, it’s hard to say! One of my favorites has to be Bubbles and Goldfish, written when I was still pregnant with my sweet baby love. Though I must say, I also love my most recent post, The moments we’re given, because I love love love how baby girl has changed the way I live my life.

What’s your biggest pet peeve?

Not being self-aware. I’m OK with people having annoying habits, but what KILLS me is when someone has an annoying habit and isn’t even aware they’re being extremely annoying!

What do you waste the most time on?

Eep..probably Facebook. I spend a stupid amount of time surfing the net. I’m trying to cut back and be more present with my baby love.

What inspired you to begin a blog in the first place?

It seemed cheaper than therapy. I was very frustrated at my job, overwhelmed by my invisible illnesses, and needed an outlet.

What’s your morning routine?

Go get the baby, change her, let her go potty, feed her if she needs, bring her back to my room where I get dressed and take care of myself, then go downstairs and pray she gives me time to pump before she demands being fed. It’s pretty chill right now!

What one thing, besides the people you love, are you most passionate about in life?

Literacy for DHH kids! I am appalled by the ceiling of a third grade reading level the median deaf HS senior has, and am passionate about looking for ways to change that at the school I volunteer in now and in my own classroom I’ll hopefully have before long.

Describe the kindest act you have ever witnessed.

It is sad how nothing leaps to mind. That really says something about the way my mind works and the things I remember :-( Recently must be a mom in a moms group I’m a part of who was sharing how she was so frustrated and exhausted because she never got a break from her needy baby and hadn’t been able to sleep well, and another mom who lived nearby offered, and pushed to make sure it was understood she meant it, to come by and watch her daughter for a few hours so she could get some sleep and get a break. It almost brought the first mom to tears. Sometimes it’s the little things.

What is your earliest childhood memory?

Getting attacked by my neighbor’s dog and having to go to the hospital for a plastic surgeon to stitch my lip back together.

What is the strangest thing about you?

Just one? It’s so hard to choose… How about this one, suggested by my darling hubby: Despite being an uber-nerd and a very talented engineer with degrees in mechanical engineering and mathematics, I am largely technology-illiterate beyond very basic levels and things I’ve learned by rote.

At the end of the day, what makes you feel like it was a success?

If I got at least one thing accomplished. I learned to set my bar low after the baby.

Describe your favorite pair of shoes.

I have worn the same type of tennis shoes since high school ‘most every day. They are Sketchers, full tennis shoes, and they have no laces but elastic instead. Comfortable AND lazy-supportive!


Alright, now that that’s done, on to the bloggers I nominate! These are all ladies I love to read, so go check them out! I apologize profusely in advance if I nominated you and you have more than 200 readers. If that happens I don’t mean to offend, I’m just an idiot. Promise. I’m going mostly by comments, which is horribly inaccurate, but I’m not sure how to do better :-/

All Work and No Play Make Mommy Go Something Something

A beautiful mommy with a beautiful son who has been battling PPD but refuses to let it define her.

And Then There Were Seven

I love reading updates on Cheeky, her adopted Chinese daughter, and the rest of her family!

Bad Words

Possibly the most badass deaf kid mommy ever. Her posts alternate between hilarious and moving, with periodic double-dips.

Broken Condoms

This mommy had her baby at roughly the same time I had mine, and it’s fun checking in to see how hers is doing! She also just got married, so big congrats to her!!

For The Love Of Each Other

A family with several wonderful adopted kiddos with special needs. Great to watch them thrive!

Is There Any Mommy Out There?

Some of the most beautiful posts I have ever read have come from Stacey, she is a truly talented writer.

Journey to Luke

Another great deaf kid mommy! This interpreter and her Deaf husband adopted Luke, their deaf son, and are in process to adopt Elias, their second deaf son.

Mommy Nani Boo Boo

A powerful woman with a powerful voice who I love to read.

Naptime Writing

Her writing is truly enjoyable as she sneaks it in while her kids give her a break.

Our Little Tongginator

Another adoptive momma of two little Chinese girls. She shares great views on parenting and adoptions.

We Are Fambly

A family with two little kiddos, her posts to her kids are heart-melting.


And finally, the questions for my nominees:

  1. What is your favorite post you have written?
  2. Why did you begin blogging?
  3. Why do you blog now?
  4. What is your favorite date night activity?
  5. You have an entire day to yourself – what do you do with it?
  6. If you could give one piece of advice to other moms, what would it be?
  7. Imagine you went back in time to talk to your 18-year-old self. What would you tell her?
  8. What Christmas tradition have you established in your family that you love?
  9. Any pets?
  10. What is your favorite thing about yourself?
  11. What did you study in school?

If you decide to participate, leave a link to your post in the comments so others can go check it out. (I’ll, of course, already see it, since you’re all in my reader!)

Thanks again to my nominator at Natural Birth!


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