Category Archives: Friday Funny

Before I head out…

…let’s have some Friday fun! As always, the buttons lead to the blogs.

I need this one:

Dear training friend,

I am glad we are friends. Really, I am. It is nice to have someone to talk to dog stuff about. And you do your research and have started a business before, so you have good info for me. But seriously. We’re facebook friends. And I’m political on facebook, largely because I think politics are important, and largely because I like talking about things I’m interested in and my fb wall is my forum to post what is important to me. So when I respectfully put up an article which respectfully states something I agree with, please don’t come back with a response that is 1) completely unintelligent, 2) completely off-topic to the article I had put up, and 3) completely beside even the point you wanted to make. Or if you’re going to, make your comment and leave it alone. Stop hounding and hounding and hounding me on my wall.

And I realize you’re old enough to be my mother, but I will not “understand when I’m older.” I understand your point. I do. I have lived it in other arenas. I just disagree. And you know, when I was on the other side of this issue in that other arena, I acted the exact same way. It was hard, but I felt it was right then, and I still feel it’s right now.

BACK OFF.

your peeved friend

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Dear self,

Please calm down. It doesn’t matter when people say stupid things. Really. Except that they then get power, because stupid, simple phrases are easy to remember and repeat. And then with that power they can hurt people. But aside from that, it doesn’t matter.

Why do you care so much when people are stupid or hypocritical or illogical? The caring takes too much energy. If you could figure out a way to turn off the caring sometimes, that would be nice.

No? OK, well, I’ll find a way to deal, and maybe someday I’ll have the guts to put up a political post here.

Tired

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Dear hubby,

Thanks for the service dog idea! I love what you came up with! Now just to find the time to put it together. But I will, and hopefully soon I’ll get started training SDs!

Also, thanks for offering to move. I know you don’t want to, it was so sweet of you to offer. But we’ll find a way to make it all work out :-)

wifey

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Dear Puget Sound dog owners,

Where’d you all go? How do I have 2 full classes, and then not a single person signs up for the next? You are confusing me. Please sign up soon, I’d love to work with you!

Trainer

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Dear government,

I would like to be able to sell things for my business, in addition to offering services. I am not sure why you rejected my application. My friend has the exact same business and applied for the exact same thing and got it. I’ll try again, please approve me this time!

Small business owner

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Dear AT&T,

Same request as last week. Get it together. Verizon already has one phone I’d love, and will have another as of Thursday. You will be offering both “soon.” As you have been saying for a month.

I want to stay your customer. It would make my hubby happy, and I’d like us both to be happy. But “soon” needs to actually mean soon at some point.

At least make an announcement.

I’m getting tired of missing things for Companions due to your ineptitude.

pissed customer

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OK, that’s good. Let’s talk about some happy things. Maybe then my blood will stop boiling. (That first letter is true. She really got to me. I don’t quite know why)

Here we go! If you remember, this is a meme where you post anything that made you smile, laugh, or giggle this week. See? I’m smiling! *grits teeth* :P

Hehe :-) My coworker has a laser-pointer-crazy cat. She is fun to play with.

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This week I was teaching the first session with dogs for a new class. I was a bit apprehensive, because of the 3 dogs in class, 1 was a puppy, 1 had already failed out of another obedience class for bad behavior, and 1 was completely out-of-control and the owner told me she was expecting to fail out.

Class starts, all 3 dogs arrive.

Chaos reigns.

I can’t even speak, the barking is so loud. They’re straining and lunging at each other (thank you new tie-offs!). I wait for pauses and then talk. We start out clicking for eye-contact. Any time the dog looks at them, they get a click and a treat. Things quiet down within minutes…until they don’t pay attention to the dog for any length of time. I show them how to body-block their dogs when they bark, cutting off options, blocking their view, but not even looking at them as reinforcement. We work on many new cues, with a group of dogs who hasn’t really listened before. They never stop working, always keeping the dogs engaged. As the hour goes on, the room gets quieter.

At the end of the hour I call them all back into the room (they’d been doing something one at a time, so two teams were waiting in the entrance area watching) to do a wrap-up, assign homework, ask for questions. They all come in and stand closer together than they have all night without thinking about it. No one is working with their dog.

Silence.

I couldn’t help but smile. How far to have come in just one hour!

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In another class last night, there are two boxers. One is an adult, one is a puppy. They L.O.V.E. each other and want to play all the time. This week we let them play to practice some recall (calling out of play). The puppy was constantly pinned by the adult, who would just lay on him and hold him in place while the puppy fought furiously. At one point the puppy got up on the adult’s back and sprawled over it. And then stopped. He had no idea what to do when he wasn’t losing. It was so adorable to see the surprise on his face! The adult stood up, and the puppy slid off, still surprised, and ended up pinned again before he knew what happened.

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At the beginning of that same class, I suggested the students use the tie offs my favorite student and her husband installed for me! They hook up the adult to the wall by his harness, I turn to walk back to the puppy, and turn around to find the adult following me. In the 10 seconds my back was turned he had managed to slip out of his full harness and his collar, and his big, barrel-chested, naked self was strutting across the room to me. He looked so proud, I couldn’t help but laugh!

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My husband and I have discovered a new species. It is known as underbedtoby. It is a small, furry creature which lives under our bed and frequently pushes little rubber squeaky balls out at random intervals. You can get a glimpse of the elusive underbedtoby if you pick up the ball that pops out and throw it, causing him to streak out from under the bed. Thus far we have only managed to record a blur; Loch Ness Monster pictures are more credible. But I swear he’s real! If you heard his whimpering, you would believe…

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Well that was successful, now I’m smiling and happy! Talking about dogs will do that to me :-) Hope y’all have a good weekend, I’m off to catch some crab!

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Filed under Dear So and So..., Friday Funny

TGIF!

Let’s just jump right into the memes!

Dear AT&T,

Please get your act together. I understand you get a lot of customers because you have a lock on the iPhone, but I would appreciate some other alternatives. Other good alternatives, to clarify. You say you have good phones coming out “soon,” but you keep being behind the game. Verizon already offers the Palm Pre Plus, you still haven’t given a release date. And theirs is  20% the price of yours. The HTC Droid Incredible is billed as the replacement for the HTC Desire. The Incredible is available on Verizon in less than two weeks. You have the rights to the Desire, but no announcement when it’s coming out. Still. Maybe you could try to get ahead of the game, rather than following Verizon on everything except the iPhone. I would like one of these:

Pronto. kthnxbye

Your annoyed customer

P.S. I know I was previously waiting on the Palm Pre Plus to come out. You guys got so behind the ball on that, it looks like Palm might fold before you even release the phone! I’d prefer a phone with updates for the next two years. But thanks anyway.

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Dear Glee,

You are awesome. Thank you for coming back. I missed you so much. Sue’s cutting insults. Rachel’s craziness.  Your ability to take songs I hate and perform them so well I subsequently love them. I don’t know how I lived without you.

And thank you for tossing in an insult for Sarah Palin. Really. Made my night.

Don’t go anywhere…I’ll be stalking watching you!

Your ardent fan

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Dear favorite student,

I had a bunch of fun fixing your truck on Wednesday night. I know you were freaking out when neither door would latch, but poking around and getting greasy was a good time, and there’s nothing like the feeling of figuring it out! I also appreciate that before I even did that, you volunteered yourself and your hubby to come and install my tie-off points for me. You are just too awesome. So glad I met you! As you’ve pointed out, it’s fun to know someone as dog-crazy as myself, who can happily spend 2 hours at the dog beach without noticing :-)

Your trainer/friend

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Dear weekend,

Please don’t kill me. I realize I’ll be out working from 8:30 to 3:30 on Saturday, and then from about 1:45-the end of time Sunday, but they’re all jobs I love, interpreting and training! I’m thrilled business is growing, and I’m not going to ask it to wait a couple weeks, so if you could be merciful I’d appreciate it.

Nervous but excited entrepreneur

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Dear eyeballs,

Stop hurting. Seriously. I know I’ve been staring at screens non-stop and forgetting to blink, but come on. This ache is painful. I’ve never had my actual eyeballs hurt. I’m not quite sure what to do about it.

The Brain

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Man, y’all are right! I AM getting more positive! An end in sight is amazing. People here try to guilt me, and I don’t even care. Awesome. This “happiness” is foreign…but appreciated!

OK, trying something new this week from Keeping Up with Kelly & Co:

Join in the Friday Fun by posting anything that made you smile, laugh, or giggle this week— a story, a picture, a video, a website. After a long work week, what could be better than a Friday Funny?? (okay, happy hour probably, but still!) Even if I only ever have a few posts– like I used to tell my students, “What you have is more than you had before” :-) Why not pass on the smiles?

First up, my favorite student and her dog have been working on play-dead. They learned this kind of round-about. At first they didn’t want to learn it, so they just taught lay down as one cue, and then roll on your side as another, separate cue (“Are you so tired?”). Then she decided she wanted to be able to “shoot” her dog. So we mini-back-chained them together (Back chaining: starting at the end and adding previous steps. This way the dog always does the hard part first, and finishes with what they know). She told her dog to do one, then the other, time after time in a row. Then she asked for a “down” and waited. After a second, the dog, who knew the pattern they’d been doing, rolled onto her side. Woohoo! She worked on this all last week, getting the trick into a smooth collapsing motion to one side. So this week we touched on that, then tried to work on other things. But every single time she stopped moving and looked at her dog, her dog collapsed onto her side, complete with flopping her head on the ground, and waited. She was having so much fun with that cue! We just kept laughing, because her dog is really adorable as she collapses on the ground and holds stock still, and her spontaneous death amused us.

Maybe you had to be there.

This news spot also made me laugh. Repeatedly. A lot. Fair warning: it’s political and teasing FOX news. And also hilarious. Don’t drink anything while you watch. “It turns out it’s worse than we thought. The people in the white house are not secret muslims – they’re nerds.” *giggle*

::UPDATE:: One more. I published, and instantly came across this. It is impossible not to smile :-)

Evidently Kelly doesn’t often get a lot of people participating in this meme, but how fun is it? I mean, OK, maybe mine weren’t that funny because I wasn’t storing funny happenings for this Friday, but still, awesome meme!

All right, and I think we’re leaving it at that. I don’t really need a Happy Hour this week, ’cause I’m already pretty happy! I mean, not that it’s not fun anyway, but I am supposed to be working…so for that reason I’m gonna skip past any of the other memes.

As always, click on the buttons to play along!

Join in the Friday Fun by posting anything that made you smile, laugh, or giggle this week— a story, a picture, a video, a website. After a long work week, what could be better than a Friday Funny?? (okay, happy hour probably, but still!) Even if I only ever have a few posts– like I used to tell my students, “What you have is more than you had before” :-) Why not pass on the smiles?

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Filed under Dear So and So..., Friday Funny