Category Archives: Writer's Workshop

We need wardrobe over here!

Writer’s Workshop: Take II!

3.) A wardrobe malfunction.

This prompt made me instantly think of one of my husband’s and my early dates, back in our first year together.

My not-yet hubby came and picked me up. We went out and had fun; of course, always in the full public eye. Remember, we were good-kids. And my dad would have neutered him otherwise. I can’t remember exactly what we did, there’s a good chance it involved some bowling (a good, cheap, fun date), and some time sitting in a park talking or playing guitar (him, not me).

At the end of the day we hugged goodbye. The not-yet hubby put his chin over my shoulder as we hugged. And saw the tag of my shirt.

’cause it was on inside-out the whole time.

It’s a weird little shirt that is made of a very textured fabric. The fabric is the same front and back. It’s one of those where the seams are all visible, and the shirt and stitching are white so it’s like a subtle accent. There’s no turned-under seam, the edges were just surged. So…it was hard to tell if it was on right or not.

And it wasn’t.

And since this was one of our earliest dates, I was mortified!

Not to mention it went over real well at home when I came home from my date with my shirt on inside-out ;-)

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Getting to know me

I’m participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop. Today I’m doing prompt 2:

2.) About me. Do you have an about me page? Because people want to know. Write a page that describes who you are and what you’re about or spruce up your current about me page!

OK then! Look up. Higher. A little to the left. See that new tab that says “About Me”? Click on it to read the amazingness!

Go ahead, click. I’ll wait!

*pretending to whistle but not knowing how so just blowing out air*

All done? Yeah, I know, it’s really not that amazing, but “click here to read the boringness” just doesn’t work as well at getting readers.

After several weeks of liking none of the prompts at WW, this week I like four. FOUR! So you may be seeing more from me…try to contain yourself.

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Octopus!!!!!

2.) This one time I was sleeping and…

I saw this prompt and knew just what to write. In fact, if my husband had seen this prompt, he might have written his first blog post, because he loves to tell this story!

On our honeymoon my husband and I were spending one of our first nights together. (We were asleep, get your minds out of the gutter!) We’re in our beautiful beachside room, the sounds of the ocean outside our window, after a day spent in the ocean, and I half-wake up flailing and screaming about the octopus in the bed.

That’s right. I had a dream there was an octopus in the bed.

And when waking up, the shadows on the comforter convinced me it was true.

I hit my new husband pretty hard in the head, while frantically backing away. (There was no bruise, he’s just a big baby.)

He assumed I was thinking he was the octopus and was trying to get away. But no, I was nowhere near that unreasonable.

I thought the octopus was in the bed between us.

I was getting out of the way so it would eat him instead of me.

Ah, true love!

Now it’s your turn! Go to Mama Kat’s, choose your prompt, and link up!

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Writer’s Workshop – Take 2!

The prompts this week are so nice I feel the need to answer them twice! Go to Mama Kat‘s to play along, you only have to once ;-)

1.) Write about your wedding song. What was it and why did you choose it?

I love my wedding song. I loved my wedding dance.

If you hadn’t guessed I hate having people staring at me. It’s generally at odds with blending into the wall one of my main general goals in life. So the whole idea of spinning slowly in a circle while some trite song played and I had nothing to think about but their eyes was not popular with me.

So we took dance lessons! We didn’t have anyone choreograph a dance for us, we just learned how to dance. Some basic steps and some fancy additions we could use. And then…we danced. The hubby had parts of it planned in his head…we spun-in-a-circle danced for the intro, then moved into the traditional one-two-three-pause box step…and danced the night away. Or the song away at least. Ending with a beautiful dip (that took lots of practice).

It was beautiful. People cried.

I’m not even shitting you.

I loved it. I forgot all the people staring and just got caught up moving with and following the lead of this wonderful, amazing man who was now mine. Somehow.

The other part I insisted on was picking a song that had meaning to us. That we had a history with. But that we could real-dance to.

Here is what we chose:

Tomorrow morning if you wake up

and the sun does not appear

I will be here.

If in the dark we lose sight of love

hold my hand and have no fear,

’cause I will be here.

I love the affirmation in this song. It’s hard for me to believe one person would actually stay with me forever, through anything.

I will be here

When you feel like being quiet

When you need to speak your mind I will listen

And I will be here

When the laughter turns to crying

Through the living, losing and trying

We’ll be together

I will be here

The hubby introduced me to Steven Curtis Chapman early when we were dating. I still really like his music, even though I’m no longer Christian. His All About Love CD has so much good stuff on it! I love Echoes of Eden…but not quite wedding appropriate. We Will Dance is another great one. But we chose the song we had the most history with.

Tomorrow morning if you wake up

And the future is unclear

I will be here.

Just as sure as seasons were made for change

Our lifetimes were made for these years

So I will be here.

I love the promise of forever. Love it.

I will be here

And you can cry on my shoulder

When the mirror tells us we’re older

I will hold you

And I will be here

To watch you grow in beauty

And tell you all the things you are to me

I will be here.

And for almost two years now, he’s been here. It’s not been all sunshine and roses. But there’s always been sunshine and roses…because he’s been here. (All together now, “Aaaaaaw…*choke* *gag*” What can I say, my blog, my place for corny truths :-)

Love you, hubby.

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Heaven on earth

It’s time for another round of Writer’s Workshop!

The prompt I’ve chosen for this week:

4.) Post a picture and a description that fits into this quote for you: “How far to heaven? Just open your eyes and look. You are in heaven” -Shankar

This is me on my honeymoon in Jamaica.

Best two weeks ever.

We were surrounded by paradise. We stayed at an all-inclusive resort, in a beautiful room, on a beautiful beach. We didn’t have to think. Bored? Do one of dozens of free activities or go to one of the dozens of places to hang out. Hungry? Pick the restaurant or snack shack you feel like. No need to worry about price, not too many options. My new hubby would run down in the morning and get a selection of breakfast items. When I got up (because he was sweet enough to let me sleep in) we’d have breakfast in bed together. Then we’d decide what to do for the day. Go scuba diving? Take out a boat? Sit in the room and kick my hubby’s ass play games? One of my absolute favorite activities is pictured above: pulling a beach chair into the surf and reading in the sun.

The sun kept me warm. The water kept me cool. Together they were the perfect temperature. I have always loved drawing baths and reading, and this was the perfect bath which never got cold or warm. I usually hate the sun, because I hate being hot and my skin is a lovely shade of neon white which turns a lovely shade of lobster red in the sun. But the water kept me exactly right. Heaven. With my new hubby hanging out with me, bringing me drinks, happy himself, and not a care in the world, this was heaven.

Not to mention all the joys of exploring each other :-D

I spent two weeks in heaven. And I loved every minute of it!

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Hahaha..right?

3.) Write about a joke that did not go over well.

See, I have a problem with this. I love to make jokes. I am a very sarcastic person. Verrrrrry sarcastic. And I like to make snide comments. It’s my way of dealing with stupid people. Or stupid situations. Or life.

And I find myself hilarious.

Unfortunately, that is not always the case with my audience.

Even more unfortunately, I can never tell when that is going to be the case. I feel like I make my jokes, and most of the time they go over fine, I get a chuckle or smile. Occaisionally, I get gut-wrenching laughter. And occaisionally, I get looks of horror and disgust.

And I can’t tell the difference between the jokes!

So I just keep throwing them out there, and hoping that this time, the response will be positive. And, like Mama Kat, I only hang out with people who get my humor, or at least are crazy themselves and so won’t judge me too harshly from the occasional (evidently) wildly inappropriate comment.

I have blocked most of those random one-liners that fell flat because, well, they’re no fun to remember.

Also, apparently, my sarcasm gets more subtle as I get more tired. So I say something I feel is absolutely d.r.i.p.p.i.n.g with sarcasm, and my audience takes me seriously. Until my husband pointed this out to me I thought my jokes were just falling flat. Now I’m realizing that when I said things like, “Yeah, that’s a great idea!” or “That sounds fun!” people were actually believing me. (For the record, no, I don’t think dealing with a dog howling all night is fun. Nor, when I was at my FT job, did I think working all weekend sounded like a great idea. But evidently there are people out there who think I did…) I can’t remember a lot of specific examples of this, either, because it’s just something that happens so often. Now that I’m aware, though, when I get that blank look “Oh.” response, I know to say, “I was kidding…” Which usually gets a relieved, “Oh!! Oh, good, thank god!”

*sigh*

So those types of moments happen all the time, so frequently no one stands out to me.

One poorly-taken joke that really sticks out to me, though: I was in the engineering computer lab in college. For my senior thesis I was writing a 100-page single-spaced senior thesis on the 2,000 year history of the teaching against contraception in the Catholic Church (I went to a Catholic college). This did not endear me to the conservative Catholic crowd (of which I had previously been a part). I had a friend who was a follower of a Norse religion (think Vikings…yes, I’m serious) and we were joking about how we were heathens. I still considered myself Catholic at that point, but I wasn’t attending Mass because I couldn’t take it. Anyway, when you feel looked down upon by your school and a lot of people in it, well, you cope. And we were joking together, I can’t even remember about what, just calling each other heathens (as he called himself) and laughing, letting off steam. Then the topic changed and I forgot about the totally normal joking. Another friend, a Protestant, who had been working next to us got in on the conversation, and somehow our topic gravitated, and she got super pissed and said, “Well, why does my opinion even matter, since I’m just a heathen! This is why I don’t talk to Eileen about things, she just judges me!” …um…what? I’m still not entirely how us making fun of ourselves got transitioned to me judging her…but I learned that you never know who’s listening!

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If only…

It’s time for Writer’s Workshop with Mama Kat!

Today’s prompt (well, yesterday’s prompt, but you know):

2) I wish I would have…describe a time when you didn’t take action, but later wished you would have.

This one’s fairly easy for me to answer (after some thought).

About a year and a half ago, I went to my primary care physician for a problem I was having. She prescribed me a med, and told me to come back in a week to see if I was having any side effects. Okiday, hopefully this will work!

A week later, I go back, and tell her I think I’m having a fairly major side-effect. She completely brushes me off. “There’s no way, it’s too early for that to be showing up!” she said confidently. And…she was the expert. She’d gone to med school. If she told me this wasn’t a side-effect, well, then it wasn’t a side effect! It must just be caused by something else in life or…me.

Fast-forward 6 months. For other medical tests, I had to go off of my prescription. I did. And as soon as it was out of my system, that symptom that definitely wasn’t a side effect….went away. Entirely. Completely. Totally.

I felt like me again! It changed my entire perspective on myself, to realize that this horrible symptom I’d been dealing with, thinking it was my fault, was really entirely imposed by a drug.

But, you know, 6 months of thinking there is something wrong with you stays with you. And it’s hard to let go of. And it has affected me in ways I still haven’t been able to shake. It’s been a year, and I’m still suffering from that doctor’s dismissal.

I wish I had stood up to her. I wish I had researched the drug and realized what I was complaining of was an incredibly common side-effect. I wish I’d gone back a few weeks later and made her pay attention.

I wish I hadn’t been so intimidated by “authority” that I let myself suffer for months, in a way that has, and will, affect me for years.

Doctors are just professionals like any other worker. They aren’t gods. They aren’t perfect. And I know my body better than them. At least I’ve learned to (try harder to) stand up for myself in the future.

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